STRAY GIRLS and LADIES

 Good afternoon!

*Please forgive the grammatical errors. 

I'm learning about how to write my grant proposal for my nonprofit charity STRAY GIRLS WITH CATS. STRAY GIRLS for short. It's my hill and my ministry project to assist single women with no children land back on their feet after an emergency. 

Housing

Food pantry

Healthcare

GED

trade school

Work placement   

Home essential care packages

Mobility

Home economics

(etc.)

All the benefits the government is more than happy to send to women who have children but turn their backs on women without children. I can't even begin to tell you how frustrating it was during Covid to be told I wasn't a priority time and time again because I don't have children, or a substance abuse problem, or wasn't recently released from prison. People who were found guilty of committing a crime, who then served time in prison, have more priority over a law-abiding woman with no children. 

I mean yes help women reenter society but help ALL WOMEN.

Single women need help too. The whole attitude of, "Just get married" is appalling. Being asked if I have children when seeking financial aid during Covid was insulting and appalling. "Just get married" is the governments answer. "You chose not to have children. We can't help you" is also appalling. I literally survived off of the generosity and kindness of my friends but every week I had no idea how I was going to live day to day, AND I had an ischemic stroke during that time. I had a stroke right in the middle of Covid. The woman assigned to my disability case was so pleased with herself as she sing-songed how she denied a woman who became paralyzed on one side of her body after her stroke, informing me that my chances of receiving disability was unlikely. Not surprising she turned me down. Gee, government worker Kathy. Thanks. I'm so "glad" I've been paying disability and social security out of my paychecks since I was sixteen years old. 

I'm at the point where I think social security should just pay everyone out and then stop taking social security out of our paychecks. Seriously. 

Do I think the government will give me a grant for my charity, no. Not the government. But I'm going to apply everywhere anyway including them. I want to be able to tell single women of America what their government truly thinks of them and to remember that especially come next election period.

Why STRAY GIRLS with cats. Because I also like cats. Those cats are emotional support systems, and they deserve homes also. I hope if I can get my charity off the ground other STRAY GIRLS will pop up. STRAY GIRLS with dogs and STRAY GIRLS with birds. 

Being a single woman without children is every woman's right and she shouldn't be denied assistance during an emergency because she's a law-abiding citizen and not an illegal substance abuser and ex-convict.

Again, yes help women reenter society but help ALL WOMEN.

Single women with no children also need a roof over their heads and a safe stable place to live for the next six to twelve months while they put their lives back together. I want to help give that to them. The Covid pandemic ended only 19 months ago. Entire industries were put out of business. Many of the women I want to help need to learn a new trade and further their education. 

I don't care how many men think this is a fool's errand. The fact men think this way is exactly why I chose this good work. This is what ministry is. I'm a minister. This is literally my job description. If women don't help other women no one will. 

I think perhaps my going through what I went through during both big earthquakes, the pandemic, and my stroke, were chosen for me giving me strength to help other single women with no children.

I have strict requirements of course to be part of the program:

Proof of citizenship

No men

No criminal history

No drugs

No alcohol 

Curfew

Must be attending a learning annex and/or working

Must do chores around the house (once I get a house)

Once working must pay a small rental fee until they leave the house no later than 12 months after arriving

(etc.)

My interview process for temporary residency once I get a house will be strict. I will have no drama. None. Zero tolerance. No slamming things. No screaming. No temper tantrums. I despise temper tantrums and unnecessary loud noise. I won't have it. 

I once booked and Airbnb room for three weeks and left after four days. There was a young woman managing the house who just slammed things as hard as she could all day into the night. She thought she was entitled. She went through my things and helped herself with some of my belongings. Immature. I simply won't have it. Entitlement is incredibly ugly on women. Schools need to bring back mandatory classes of home economics and etiquette. If you fail either class, you repeat it. If you continue to fail, you don't graduate. Simple. The divide between proper young ladies and girls you know will end up pregnant or worse by the age of fourteen is drastic. There is no middle. It's either girls going on welfare or girls going to college and being a success and you know just by looking at them now at twelve years of age how these girls are going to end up. It's terribly unfortunate but a lot of these girls don't desire better. I don't get that. How do you not want better. I ran into four school aged girls yesterday morning who clearly had no interest attending school. Young black girls who could be something great if they wanted. I will never understand why they don't want it. Which is why I believe parents need to be punished right along with their kids when they break the law. If a kid kills someone then so did mom and dad and all three of them go to jail like Ethan Crumbley's parents. Ten years in prison. Bye Falicia!  

  

I suppose taking away women's rights is one way to force women to make better choices but, in all honesty, if women don't receive proper education and etiquette training when they're young they will understand even less as they get older. 

We must do better for these young girls. Schools especially. Maybe a mandatory dress code of skirts. Definitely bring back home economics and etiquette training. When I was married, I attended my husband's work Christmas parties which were always held in a nice lodge but at the first party no young ladies under thirty seated at our table knew the clam shaped cloth inside the empty water glass was the napkin until I pulled mine out and placed it my lap - then all the young ladies at our table immediately did the same. It was a little shocking. 

Gen X girls were at least taught how to behave while out in public. I fear girls today are not taught how to behave. Not at school. Not at home. Society needs to do better by these young girls. We need to raise more ladies. When these girls turn eighteen and go off into society, they'll at least have the education. Perhaps then, and this is just a thought, if we raised ladies less girls would be confused about their gender identity. 

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:10

God bless you.

STRAY GIRLS with cats

Good morning! 

*Please forgive the grammatical errors 

I have chosen my nonprofit cause. As you may have guessed from the title of this blog whatever time I have left on earth I want to help single/divorced women with cats and no children land back on their feet after an extreme hardship.

 

What extreme hardship you ask.

EXAMPLE:

After a natural disaster destroys your home 

After a pandemic has been declared shutting down the world

After a debilitating car accident

After a debilitating medical emergency 

(i.e. stroke, heart attack, brain aneurysm, etc.) 

Single elderly women with no children

Because all of those situations are me. Every single example is me. And every time I sought help from my government, I was either denied or told I am not a priority because...

I have no children

I do not have a substance abuse problem

I do not have a clinical form of mental illness

I am not a senior citizen (cannot yet collect retirement social security)

I do not have Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I am not physically, mentally, or sexually abused

No, I am none of those things I simply lost my home in an earthquake (twice!) Was out of work like everyone else during a pandemic that went on for almost three years. I suffered an ischemic stroke. And I'll be 56 in four weeks and two days with preexisting medical conditions. But no, my government cannot help me because I don't have children.

So, guess what, until the day I die I will champion to help these women! God bless you.

This is my nonprofit. I'm working on this page now.  

Let your moderations be known unto all men, the Lord is at hand.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

Philippians 4:5,6

HYGIENE

 Oh dear. Good morning. 

*Please forgive the grammatical errors. 

Any time I start a blog with "Oh dear" you know it's not good.

While waiting for my master bedroom to be ready I am in an airbnb for the next 6 days. This is my second night here so far and oh dear. My room reeks of rotting garbage. I leave my window open, but it doesn't help much. There is a fella, a grown man, renting a room immediately to my right. When he opens his bedroom door the stench of rotting garbage emanates from a stockpile of trash he has hoarded two feet high in a corner of his bedroom. I don't understand. He has literally let a pile of trash grow in his bedroom. No wastebasket. No garbage pail. He just throws his trash in the corner of his room. He's creating a trash dump in his bedroom where he sleeps. The smell is horrible. The shared bathroom is equally horrible after he uses it. He urinates and poops on the seat. He doesn't wash his hands. It's as if he's been homeless and unbathed for ten years yet somehow he's managed money for an airbnb for a few nights. Just terrible. He could shower if he wanted to, but I don't see how that would help him any being as how the stench in his bedroom is so unholy it will make him stink again seconds after bathing. I want to help him, but he is just as hostile and crude as he is dirty. He told the lady who manages the house, "I'll help you toss out the trash." Meaning he thinks it's her job to clean all the garbage he's thrown into the corner of his bedroom. I rented this room earlier in the year while waiting for the master bedroom in another house to be available. I rented this very same room I'm currently in for almost six months until I just couldn't stay here any longer. Sharing a bathroom with people is disgusting I'm sorry to say. I don't know if only a small number of us had a proper education on hygiene or what and because of this I need my own toilet at the very least. I'm only in this room once again because the master bedroom I want has opened up but due to a snafu in scheduling I'm here again for another week. I don't know how they're going to get the smell out of this fella's room. I can't get the rotting smell out of my room. How are they going to get it out of his room where the stink is originating from? Yesterday when the lady who manages this house knocked on this guy's door to collect rent money, I saw the garbage pile when he opened the door. Saw it and smelled it. Just terrible.

The mindset of, "Well, Airbnb is supposed to provide hand soap and cleaning products and if they don't I won't go to the store and buy any. I'll just not wash my hands or clean up after myself" is more common than you think. I always buy Clorox bleach wipes, soap, and other cleaning supplies because not sorry I have to be clean in a clean environment. How do you not spend $3 on yourself and buy some hand soap? If you can afford an Airbnb you can afford soap. Clean yourself.   

I admire young fellas who cook on social media. The channels where young men are cooking or doing home repairs are necessary educational tools for the men folk. But oh dear. I'm curious is this fella renting next to me a hoarder. Is he homeless? Wouldn't he want to get away from sleeping in trash? What is the point of sleeping in a bed only to fill the room with garbage? There was literally more garbage in his room than one of those big blue dumpster bins you put in your garage. The lady who manages the house told him to clean it. Oh dear.

We need more male role models to talk to the fellas about cleaning their bodies. Fellas need male role models to teach them about cleanliness. Teach them about hygiene. Teach them about home economics like my generation had in junior high school. Teach them basic housecleaning, hygiene, how to mend a shirt, and how to cook simple easy meals. I don't know why or how anyone can decidedly live in trash. 

Not knowing basic hygiene 101 is bad for society. Forget the plague with rats a pandemic had to occur in order to teach grown adults how to wash their hands. What on earth were they doing before then? Push the 'wash your hands' agenda. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom. Wash your hands after using public transit. Wash your hands after eating. And somewhere, I don't know where, in men's magazines and in commercials for male hygiene products perhaps, slip in there some subliminal hand washing. Have your actor wash his hands while selling shaving cream. Society leaders need to re/educate people, men in particular, basic hygiene. 

I left this house November 1. It is now December 6. Just a little over a month ago. I left full hand soaps in both bathrooms. I left a clean sponge in the kitchen with a half bottle of dish soap. And since then, not one renter has changed out the kitchen dish sponge or replaced/filled the hand soaps in the bathrooms. No one person. I can't pay for everyone's hygiene products. I don't have that kind of money. I buy my own for my own personal use. And people wonder why they keep getting sick. Because no one washes their hands. People cough and don't cover their mouths. I mean, something needs to be done. We need to remind people to bathe with proper instructions on how to clean themselves. We need to remind people to wash their hands several times a day. We need to remind people to purchase hygiene products and clean themselves. We need to remind women that a restaurant table is not the proper place to change a baby's diaper. We need a proper hygiene campaign. 

My Grandma Louise taught me how to bathe when I was a little girl. She taught me old school with body powder after a bath and everything. Grandma was a fancy lady. I had more shades of lipstick by the time I was twelve than any one cosmetic counter. 

Smelling like garbage isn't masculine. You just stink.

Gals today aren't any cleaner let me tell you. Society needs repeated lessons on hygiene and housekeeping. I think schools need to keep teaching home economics all through high school.

Living in a house where the other bedrooms are rented out on Airbnb has opened my eyes on just how unclean and unhygienic people are.

"When I wash my hair and rinse off the shampoo, shampoo runs down my body and that's how my backside and private parts get clean." Oh dear! No, fellas. That is not how you get clean. Use body soap and warm water. A good lather. 

Preach these words Preachers:

Wash ye, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil

-- Isaiah 1:16

Or "Wash your hands. Wash your butts." That works too.

We as a society need to do better promoting hygiene and not just assume someone else is doing the teaching because obviously no one is. Hygiene, how we bathe, how a kitchen should be clean and healthy, how a bathroom should be clean and healthy, etc. Save the duckies yes please, and hey, while we're at it remind people to wash their hands and be mindful of other people who share this bathroom. 

"Invest in your health with Clorox Bleach Wipes." Please use that tagline in your advertisements Clorox. You're welcome. God bless.

Preachers do preach:

And Moses and Aaron and his sons washed their hands and their feet thereat: When they went into the tent of the congregation, and when they came near unto the alter, they washed; as the Lord commanded Moses. 

Exodus 40:31, 32 

Things Gen X elder say (Part I)

Good morning!

*Please forgive the grammatical errors

I'm a little bit country. A little bit rock 'n roll. I grew up in the 70's and 80's. Raised around a bunch of farmers. Corn. Hens. I'm definitely old school. The first farm job I had I was around fourteen years old. The farm was nearby Mennonite farms. Super nice folks, Mennonites. The farmhouse I worked at had no electricity. No gas. No hot water. They boiled hot water on a wood burning stove. They weren't Mennonites but they lived a simple farm life. I have friends to this day who still heat their homes and cook on wood chip burning stoves and fireplaces. It's nice really. Minnesota is one of those places where planting trees is encouraged.  

I have some very old school ways of thought and some new(er) ones. For example, I would like it if everyone including mature adults went back to dating without sex. Dating. Movies. Dinner. Miniature golf. Conversation. Walks. Dating. The boy picks up the check because he really likes the girl and is willing to risk her not liking him back if it means at the very least, he gave it a try. It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Of course, that also requires everyone to make better choices. You know that scene in A Bronx Tale where Sonny is advising Calogero, "If she doesn't unlock your car door, she's no good" or something along those lines and then Calogero takes the girl out on a date, and she unlocks his car door and he's so happy he dances in front of the car. That needs to come back. Simple dating etiquette. It never goes out of style. You're never too old for dating etiquette. If she/he isn't kind to you on the first date, they're not going to be kind to you on the tenth date or after the first six months of marriage. Then you politely move on. Make better choices. I use boy/girl examples, but the same thing applies with LGBTQ community.  

I keep seeing these guys online using the term "dating" but they're not describing dating. What they're describing is, "I expect sex for spending money on her." And that's not dating, dear. That's prostitution. I remember one fella in his 40's told me what he expects on the first date with a gal and if she didn't go along with his program, he would never see her again. And I thought to myself, "Wow. You need Jesus."

Marriage is between two people who love each other and are devoted to each other until death do you part. Those vows matter. All of them. Ten commandments matter. All of them. Constitutional rights matter. All of them. It makes no difference if you're straight or gay if you want me to marry you, we're going to have counseling sessions first. I need to know it in my bones you're both devoted to each other. The high divorce rate in this country (USA) is inexcusable. Don't get married if the sun doesn't rise or set without your partner every day for the rest of your life. Don't keep dating. "People change" is a selfish poor excuse. Make better choices. Devote yourself to marriage if you're going to marry. Devote yourself. In many cases one person is at fault for the marriage ending. Most likely someone cheated. That person absolutely is at fault for the marriage ending. There ought to be consequences. 

I cannot stress enough the importance of being independent, living on your own as young adults. Live by yourself for at least a year. Live alone or with a pet but no other humans. You pay the rent and bills. You buy the groceries and run all the errands. You take care of you even if that means living in a 250 sq ft unit with a space heater. In doing so you will 100% learn who you are and who you want in a life partner. 

I appreciate the positive life coaches online. I appreciate those who stand up against poor behavior in their industry like Joey Swoll. If someone is going to the gym to better themselves let them be. If someone is trying a new fashion let them be. If someone is learning a new culture let them be. Stomping down others does not rise you up. It takes you down especially when everyone else backs ten feet away from you. No one wants to be dragged down by drama created for the sole purpose of attention. The lower a person sinks themselves the easier it is for the hand of the devil to reach up and take you all the way down. 

As I said I have old school ways of thought and new(er). I am a protestant, and a preacher, but I am not a protestant preacher. I'm not anointed by a church for the same reason I am not a Catholic, when I speak, I am beholden to no one. My words are mine. I don't represent a church here though I worship with one elsewhere. That said, the two most controversial beliefs I have are new(er) for Christians.  

1. Provided we have completed my five-month marital counseling sessions, and I am more than satisfied this couple is devoted to each other I will marry gay couples. No problem.

2. I am prochoice. I am prochoice for so many reasons concerning physical health, economics, and society as a whole. 

I do not subscribe to Papal supremacy. No protestant does that is the whole point of being protestant. No man will ever get in between Christ and myself. That said, there are many protestants who are prolife and please do not get me wrong, in my heart I am prolife too BUT I live in the real world with social deconstructs against women and a country's economic problem of about 34 trillion dollars. How much further in debt should we go. Add to that, forgive me for saying but anyone who says they live strictly by the Bible had better surrender all their gold, wealth, automobiles, electricity, and start raising their children Amish. 

Back to reality, the reason I love renaissance period piece films is for historic references and the romance of it all. Would I like to live during that time after living during this time for almost 56 years absolutely no. The thought of using a chamber pot is terrifying. When I had my stroke in 2021, they put a wheelchair with a white bucket in the center of it for me to use as my toilet. They parked that wheelchair right up against my bed. I was horrified. Luckily, with the assistance of my nurse I was able to get to the bathroom. Still, would it be so horrible for people to greet each other respectfully like they did then. Would a slight bow of acknowledging you're sharing a sidewalk with another human being be so terrible I often ponder. Would it be so horrible to court one another respectfully. Spend time together respectfully. Speak respectfully to one another. Would it be so horrible to think of the future rather than constant instant gratification. I live in the moment. I'm present here and now. I'm agreeable with that philosophy but only as an individual person. The moment you add another human being to your equation you can no longer think of just yourself. When I was young, I used to say I want a man is who just like me but a man. What an utterly self-centered thing to say. Thankfully people are individuals and not carbon copies upon carbon copies. Variety is the spice of life. I adore culture especially art, film, and food. I'm the one friends go to when they read about a new Ethiopian restaurant opening. I'm in! Let's go!

I'm so old my kindergarten class had air raid drills. Then starting with first grade we had constant "fire drills". Back then "fire drills" were land raid drills. Every class had to learn their safe zone. Each class had different zones. They might get some of the kids, but they wouldn't get all of us was the strategy. We're talking the mid to late 70's here. The threat of another American invasion was a possibility. Wine cellars today were once bomb shelters. Fear is a very powerful weapon. Fear is what helps to build instinct, but if you don't keep that fear in check, it can also build paranoia and hatred. Like our guy Yoda says, "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." And that's what some of these old guys, older than me, that's their tool to use against the American people. Fear. 

A fella on social media once said, "We're all just colors of wheat." Amen, brother. That said, we are not equal because equality has not been given to everyone. Fear prevents equality. I'm a woman of color. I've been assailed upon in varied degrees from one wheat field to another including my own. Mostly because of stereotyping and people feeling owed. Entitlement is a belief found in every wheat field. To single out someone and say "that wheat field in particular" is inaccurate. Entitlement (or so I believe) stems from cause and effect. We talk about the effect more than the cause. What causes entitlement. Someone once said to me, "If you want to know how something is built you must take it apart piece by piece and then put it together again piece by piece. That's the only way to learn the significance of each piece." After each riot where cities are looted and burned down there's always news channels interviewing a local person of color on the street (after the fact) and getting them to scream into the cameras, "Yes we loot! None of these stores are ours! We don't own anything!" And all this does (dear news channels) is create more effect. These "news coverages" serve only the media. You know this. We all know this. It does nothing to better understand the cause. To understand the cause of looting and rioting you must go all the way back to the first piece of construction. All the way back. That's where your cameras need to go. All the way back to the first piece. Politicians use. News medias use. The wealthy who want to be wealthier use and that includes opulent wealthy preachers. Part of the cause is when people are manipulated and used, and used, and used. It's only naturally for effect to occur.  

         

I would love for people to live simpler. Healthier not wealthier. The minimalist lifestyle is coming back in. I would love to see minimalist communities. And not for nothing this old gal would love to see grandma purses like in the olden days. What do I mean by that. This...

Mini picnic

Tissues

A tasty beverage

Candy

Secret "walk around money" for the grandkids. 

Yes, grandmas used to carry all that in their purses. I don't have children, so I carry around cat care in my purse: Food, treats, bottled water, tissues, extra shirt if I need to pick up a kitty, etc. Because when life is simple, we think of others. 

"It is the Cause. it is the cause, my soul. Let me not name it to you, these chaste stars. It is the Cause."
-- Othello, Shakespeare

Live simple. Just. Give it a try. Healthier not wealthier. God bless you.

Heavenly Father, as we gather today, we ask for your spirit of unity to be present among us. Amen

A pound of flesh

Good morning! 

*Please forgive the grammatical errors. 

I'm going to tell you a story about someone I've known since eighth grade. I have so many fond memories of her when we were young. In 2020 at the beginning of Covid I went back to my home state of Minnesota to spend time with her. My friend was a mess. A much bigger mess than she led on before I came out. She had a back farmhouse she rented with her now estranged husband who had moved out some months prior to my coming. She had a dog, and a half dozen cats on the property. When arrived at her farmhouse I learned she was months behind in rent since her husband moved out, and her dog and cats were literally going hungry. She had enough cat food to feed one cat, but she had about six of them on her property. It was winter. Not many mice to catch plus all but one were indoor cats. The dog ate whatever my friend ate. My friend worked a full-time job. "Where is your money going?" I asked her. And her response was maddening. She said she was giving all her money to her estranged husband who had left her and moved back in with his parents. Her estranged husband missed his mother taking care of him. He missed her cooking for him. He missed her doing his laundry. He missed her doting on him. Additionally, his mother said if he left his marriage and moved back home mom would buy him a brand-new truck. So, he left his marriage moved back home to mom and dad and as a reward his mom bought him a brand-new truck. This is not a boy we're talking about here. He's a grown man in his late twenties. 

My friend who is twenty years older than her husband met her husband when they both worked for the same trucking company. She was a dispatcher/secretary/bookkeeper, and he was a driver. I did not meet her husband before 2020. I didn't know he was twenty years younger than her. Nonetheless, all the red flags are there right. He's twenty years younger. He thought my friend was going to replace his mommy plus give him the freedom he did not have living with his parents. My friend refused to let him live with her unless they were married. Clearly, neither one of them really took into consideration what this marriage would be (her second, his first) with a twenty-year age difference. 

"Mommy, marriage is hard! My wife is a meanie and expects me to be an adult!" Or so I imagine that's what he said to his mom.

I tried to help my friend best I could. I gave her money to feed her cats. I bought her dog a giant bag of dogfood. I gave her money to help pay her back-rent. When her truck broke down, I gave her money to help fix her truck. A day later her truck was still broken down in the driveway, the landlord came by with a three day or quit notice, and her cats were still going hungry. "What happened to the money I gave you?" I asked.

My friend broke down in tears and loudly wept, "I'm trying to fix my marriage! I booked a luxurious weekend suite at the Four Seasons and (her husband) cancelled on me this morning! Four Seasons won't refund my money because the reservation is for tomorrow!" My friend didn't weep because she felt bad the money I gave her for back rent and pet food was gone. She wept because her husband cancelled on her. I put my foot down. "Surrender your cats. They're hungry. You can't take care of them." I demanded. That day my friend surrendered most of her cats. She could afford one cat but not all of them. I told her to keep feeding her dog dogfood not human food or she'll have to surrender the dog too.

The landlord took my friend and her estranged husband to court after the three days or quit notice. They lost of course. She moved in with a friend. Her estranged husband went back to mom and dad. I went back to California. A voice in my head told me to go back. About two months later I suffered an ischemic stroke. I was still a California resident with California state medical insurance. I'm glad I listened to that voice in my head. Speed it up to December 2024 and guess what my friend is still trying to get her husband back. Even after he took her to court on "abuse" charges because she grabbed his arm during a face-to-face encounter and left a bruise. My friend lost that case too and received a restraining order that day to stay (whatever the legal footage is in MN) away from her estranged husband, his mom and dad, and his parents' house.

Anyone who has ever been married will tell you hire an attorney the moment your spouse leaves the marriage. Depending on state laws she could sue him for marital abandonment plus he still owes money on the rent because his name is on the lease. But my friend didn't hire an attorney. She wanted her husband back. She wanted him to love her like before if he ever loved her at all. She wanted him back so badly she was willing to compete with his mom with cash and prizes. The only person getting everything was him. The only person winning was him. He had two women fighting over him and spoiling him like a King. Late twenties.

Today, my friend's estranged husband is in his mid-thirties and still being taken care of by his mom and dad. He's not disabled or anything. He just likes being taken care of and his mom wants to do it. 

My friend was about 150 pounds overweight then. She is now over 300 pounds easily. Some of it is medical. Most of it is psychological. I mention this because it matters. Self-esteem self-confidence matters and can be hard for some aging women. She's still in Minnesota where well let's be honest not the most health-conscious people there especially among older folks. And I've thought about this for a long time. I've given it serious consideration. I've meditated and prayed on this matter since 2020. Clearly my friend would be so much happier if she just lost the weight. You thought I was going to say Jesus didn't you. ⌣ No, she needs to lose weight that's a given. However, she also needs to hire a legal mediator (an attorney) who will exclude his mom and dad from this legal conversation unless one of them is his lawyer. Legal mediators don't put up with mommy and daddy butting into their case. Mommy and daddy won't be allowed in the room.

I don't like divorce. I get why she wants her husband back. I hated divorcing my husband, but it had to be done or one of us was going to end up on Dateline. In my friend's marriage, I mean, it's obvious she's not going to let her marriage go using common sense. He's not going to file for divorce because abandoning a marriage probably won't award him alimony. A legal mediator though, while my friend might think the mediator will be on her side (and let her think that just to get everyone in the room) in reality that mediator has no stake in the game other than getting couples out his/her office as fast as possible. No one wins with a mediator BUT at least both my friend and her estranged husband might see the light of day on their marriage for the first time ever and the end result is legally binding. It's the same as going before a judge. 

Which is precisely why I will not marry people without lengthy counseling sessions first. I may never marry anyone and I'm okay with that. My conscious is clear. 

I miss my friend. I don't know this person she's become. I'm not strictly talking about her weight although I would be lying if I said, "She's beautiful at any weight". I don't subscribe to that. No, I miss the funny confident happy gal she used to be. Being obese wasn't a symptom of the problem it became the end result of one.

We all need good mental health, or we cease to function like my friend who by the way is a good person at her core but she's emotionally dependent. I will preach it until I am blue in the face be independent at a young age. Leave your mom and dad's house after high school. Get a full-time job doing anything like McDonald's, the gas station/convenience store, hotel housekeeping, waiting tables, whatever earns you an honest paycheck and live alone in a one room apartment with a space heater if that's what it is just live alone for a few years. Pay your own rent. Pay your own bills. Buy your own groceries. Learn how to be alone. Enjoy it! Your own private space. How wonderful! Trust this old gal when I say living alone for a few years after high school (or college) teaches you what kind of person you want to marry. When you do everything on your own taking care of yourself and possibly a pet too you will know in your heart what kind of person you want to marry. You will know in your heart the moment red flags start waving. 

I'm not making excuses for my friend but we Gen X gals were not raised by anyone. We learned from doing. We gave up pounds of flesh to survive. I don't want to see younger generation giving up anything. You guys are pretty darn smart on your own. Smarter than my generation that's for sure. But there are those still out there who want your soul, who want a pound of flesh, who feel that you owe them somehow. Don't trap yourselves. You don't owe anyone anything. If you already know the answer in your gut but want advice from your friends online look you already know what the answer is in your gut. Use gut-wisdom. God bless you.

Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.

-Proverbs 4:5 

Do women hate other women

 Hello! 

*Please forgive the grammatical errors. ⌣

Question: Do women hate other women. 

Answer: Sometimes.

A legal adult female is eighteen years old in my country (USA) so let's start there. From eighteen to thirty years of age women are very competitive with one another for male (or female) attention, employment, marriage, and children. Not necessarily in that order. Men and employment will use this competitive edge to turn women against each other especially men. They do it for sport. Amusement. Possibly ego. From eighteen to thirty years of age most women want husbands and families of their own and are easily baited because of how badly they want something that requires a second person (although less and less as the new younger generations grow up with nonstop advancements in technology priorities change.) But for now...

I firmly believe once Boomer generations and Gen Xers all die off the younger generations will explode with technology that will make being married a relic like dinosaur bones. That's why all the young dancing Priests on TikTok and Elon Musk are pushing women to get married, obey their husbands, and breed. Catholic churches need new parishioners to keep them in power, and Elon Musk needs new wallet holders to keep him wealthy. Any time someone preaches women to get married, obey their husbands, and make babies, they are either trying to sell you something or con you into something that requires a pound of flesh.

As a Lutheran, Church of Sweden, my faith with Christ is mine. Your faith with Christ is yours if you want. I have no need or desire for Priests, AKA men, to "instruct me" how to live. Relationships with Christ is a one-on-one devotion. No Priest, Pope, Bishop, or Deacon will ever come between Christ and me. I support women who want to get married or not get married. Have children or not have children. It's still a free country for now. You do you. 

Jealousy and insecurity are also on the rise especially with woman thirty to fifty years of age especially if there have been setbacks. Additionally, so much is going on with their raging hormones and thought process, their emotions are all over the place at any given time. Aging is setting in. Jealousy is creeping in with, "Why does she have money. Why doesn't she look as old as me. Why is she happy. What does she have that I don't have. (etc.)" And the answer is, why do you care? The Gen X credo is "Meh. So what." Exactly. Why do you care what she's doing. Mind your own business. Work on you. 

I'm content. I've accepted who I am, what I am, my strengths and weaknesses because Christ said to me, "My devoted child, put your woes on me. So long as you keep working on you, I will carry you when you fall." And He has. 

People who are intentionally cruel and intentionally invasive to other people are announcing their malice to the world. They're announcing themselves to Christ for who they really are and will be punished accordingly. One day they will exclaim, "Why is this happening to me?!" Welp, you put this on yourself, dear. Remember that time you invaded someone else's privacy without their consent? Christ abandoned you when you raised a harmful hand against one of his children. Christ doesn't protect those who willfully go against his children. He'll leave you to the wolves. Some people call that Karma. Some people call it the universe balancing itself out. Whatever you believe, fact is whatever you put out there will come back to you tenfold. That's why I'm content. Raise a hand against me, see what happens. I know who has my back. ⌣ (Smile)

When women are intentionally cruel to other women it's 100% done out of fear. They think to themselves, "If I stomp her down it will raise me up." This poor logic was tricked into her head by a man. Only men use trickery when they can't use force. Don't suffer fools, ladies. 

Young gals who are pre-teens and teenagers now will live in a whole new world as thirty and forty-year-old women. Technology will just be amazing. Will robots be able to microwave embryos into healthy babies? I dunno. Dang. Maybe. I mean really who knows. If that isn't reason for men to do better making relationships work with women, I don't know what is. Having a robot raise your children is like, I mean, going out with the boys? "I don't think so Dave."   

Being (almost) 56 years old, I have gone full circle. I am back to the gal I was when I was eighteen years old. Wisdom and exhaustion. Speak only the truth. It's a simple life. I love it. Neither I nor Christ suffer fools. Why should we. Why should you. 

Now, I know I don't live like most women. I'm a minister. I don't wear jewelry anymore. I've been chaste since 2020. Everything I have is replaceable even my prescriptions. My whole life now is devoted to knowledge, my ministry, and Christ. That's it. This is my path until the day I die. I would like to remarry but at my age I've accepted if it doesn't happen. My chosen path has alienated me from friends and family and that's okay. I can't live just to be a source of entertainment for them. That's all I was, entertainment. Proof of that is when I said, "Hey, I'm returning to the church." And they criticized me, made fun of me, and turned their backs on me. But that's okay. I'm happier now than when I was as their "friend". 

In my opinion, acceptance of one's immediate situation can only be achieved through prayer or meditation. To change one's situation for the better can only be achieved through hard work. If you find yourself alone with no one to talk to, talk to yourself. You might be surprised who's listening. ⌣

The more I work at bettering myself, bettering my education, bettering my future, the more I learn how not to suffer fools and that includes other women. I just don't have the time. Perhaps you have a similar method.  

Being an ordained minister I have the power to marry couples. I've only been a minister since October this year but even so, I'm not one of those ministers you can throw $200 at and I'll marry you. I value marriage too much. I have a prerequisite of ten thirty-minute council session every other week for five months before I'll marry anyone. I have to believe in my heart the couple before me is devoted to making their marriage a lifetime commitment to one other. If you need a quickie marriage, there are hundreds of ministers you can toss two hondos at and they'll marry you tomorrow under the 101 freeway. I think in this day and age, young women are not getting married as much because their dogs show them more love, kindness, and affection than any men they've dated. That's on men to do better. These dancing Priests on tiktok need to speak to the fellas. Not pressure the women folk.

I'm always saying now, the best thing a young person can do is find something you enjoy doing, be amazing at it, and use the internet to sell it. Gain your independence first before entering into marriage. Be independent first. Learn how to live alone first. Learn to be self-reliant first. THEN if you meet someone you want to spend a lifetime with, you'll be better equipped making that decision. I'm truly impressed at how young people are using the internet to make millions of dollars. I'm not into money but I'm impressed with their innovation. 

I cannot urge women enough with first being independent for two years (i.e. your own apartment) before entering into any living arrangement with a significant other. Living alone first will teach you what kind of person you can live with. 

And ladies, seriously, just mind your own business. Don't invade other peoples' spaces. You have plenty of self-work to work on. You don't have time to hate other women. You've got a career to work on, and travel, short term goals, long term goals, those movies you want to see, those books you want to read, a few days a month volunteering somewhere, girl you're too busy! God bless you.  

 

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can, 

and the wisdom to know the difference. 

Amen

Choose happy

Good morning! 

* Please forgive the grammatical errors. I'm a writer not an editor. If you understand Dr Seuss, you'll get through reading this just fine. I promise. ⌣

As a Gen X elder, I observe a lot of anger among my single male peers, among the single Boomer male generation as well. Anger. So much anger. I see it in older women also but not nearly as much. Granted this anger could be caused by early stages of mental decline, or perhaps mental disturbances in need of psychiatric help. Regardless I focus on my generation (and older) for the simple fact that we're too old for angst or having midlife crises. This anger is something more serious. The common denominator being that these men are single.

As a divorced (almost) 56-year-old woman, sure it can sometimes suck being alone but those moment are too few and too far in between to have a grain of the anger I observe in men. With one man I'm acquaintance with he wants me to be as angry as him and the fact that I'm not just makes him angrier. How are you not angry?! Well, it's simple. I keep myself busy with activities I love. Among other things, I love to knit. I love to read my Bible, pray, and study religions. I love movies. I love keeping up on new technologies. I love learning about science and medicine. I also love learning about bees, etc. I don't have time to be angry, nor would I allow that type of unnecessary stress into my life on a daily basis. Being angry is a choice. Being happy is a choice too. And while it is a free country, what benefits are you truly receiving with a choice of being angry?

Why do I care that so many men are angry? Because angry men elect other angry men into political offices who have the power to make other people suffer needlessly. "I want others to hurt like I hurt!" Misery loves company. Wanting other people to hurt is a loud cry for help. It's like stalking, harassing, or any other types of behavior that hurt other people especially women. Ah! And there we have it, no?

Hurting women, hurting LGBTQ, hurting children, hurting animals, hurting any living being is a loud cry for help. It is a loud cry that they themselves have suffered for a long time. "I want you to hurt like I hurt!" I know people think it's entitlement that makes men behave this way but (and this is just my opinion) these men are in excruciating pain. They feel their masculinity is being taken away from them because of sexual decline, perhaps a decline of employment, additionally age and death are scary facts of life for men. 

Mothers are to boys what fathers are to daughters. Mothers and fathers lay the first layer of concrete to a person's foundation. How stable a person grows depends on the concrete. Gen Xers fended for ourselves from the moment we could walk. There's no reason for any Gen Xer to not be able to make themselves happy at 60, 70, or 80. Regarding Boomers, the only one I really got to know and love died in 2023 shortly after his mother died. Let me tell you a little story about my dearly departed friend Sheldon.

I met Sheldon around 1994. I was in my mid 20's. He was in his late 40's. A mutual friend introduced us and because Sheldon and I had so much in common from our love of travel, going to rock concerts, exploring new eateries, red wine, art museums, etc., we became fast friends. I got to know his family, friends, business associates, one of his cousins was my attorney after a car accident. Speed it up to 2001 I met a man, fell madly in love and got married 2002. I tried keeping Sheldon in my life. I introduced him to my then fiancée, but Sheldon just wasn't having it. He didn't want anything to do with my husband. My (ex)husband is a Swede and if you know anything about Swedish people, they're doers not talkers. When Sheldon made it loud and clear to both my husband and I that he wanted nothing to do with my husband or a married me, my husband just shrugged it off. I, however, was upset by Sheldon's decision. It really hurt me. My getting married hurt him. In return, he was going to hurt me by taking his friendship away. So be it. I was married for almost ten years. During that time Sheldon made another female friend he had nothing in common with he said. They both needed to eat. That was all they had in common he later told me. In 2012 while getting divorced Sheldon and I renewed our friendship. It was as if no time had passed. Then Sheldon's mother suddenly died. In 2014 Sheldon had to have a pacemaker put in. During this time my own dad was battling cancer. For the next few years, I went into hyper "nurse" mode. I babied Sheldon hard. Literally from the time he woke up until he went to bed, I was babying him on top of having a full-time job and a father dying of cancer. By 2017 my father had died. I desperately need to work on myself. Sheldon said, "Go. Do what you need to do. Take your time." Which I thought was an odd thing to say but I appreciated his understanding I wasn't going to be around as much. Speed it up to 2020 and Covid. No one was working. Everything shut down. Sheldon assumed I would come live with him. He assumed wrong. He was struggling in my absence he said. "Struggling how? You're a grown man." I said. More words were exchanged but the bulk of his problems were that no one was there to care for him and his housekeeper was a "useless old woman" who didn't care for him like I did when I had gone into nurse mode. Sheldon assumed nurse mode was going to last forever. He thought I was going to baby him forever now that his mother was gone. I said no. I told Sheldon he can take care of himself which was true. He had a pacemaker, yes, but other than that he no life-threatening illnesses. He would have told me if it meant my babying him some more. We got into a huge fight over it. Three years later Sheldon died. I now take prescriptions for hypertension, cholesterol, thyroid, diabetes, and low dose aspirin for my heart. Back in 2020 Sheldon was taking the same prescriptions. He died because without me babying him, without his mother cooking for him, he just ate cheeseburgers, pizzas, pastas, sausages, every day for three years, and drank himself into cardiac arrest death. 

I believe people should die the best way they see fit. It's not my job to raise your children. It's not my job to see that you get into Heaven. It's not my job to babysit you because you're too lazy to do for yourself what most of the world, especially women, do for themselves every day. It's not my job. Sheldon had the free will to eat better. He had the free will to exercise. He had the free will to talk to his doctors about how he can improve his health, even his mental health. He had the free will to do so, and so do you, and so do I.

Men being angry because they have to do things to make themselves happy is no excuse. Blaming others, blaming women for your lack of happiness is a guaranteed way to fail in life. 

I've known men over the years who own their own homes, have a steady income, have their health, own a car and can drive themselves, 100% self-reliant, but instead of feeling joy for their hard work and success, instead of finding excitement trying something new to meet women when their current method is unsuccessful, they rather be angry instead. No one, and I do mean no one, is going to find a man fun, or interesting, or enjoyable to be around when he's too busy waiting for someone else to make him happy. Women can smell that dependency a mile away.

Being a happy person is intoxicating to be around. Being genuinely grateful for life and all that you have like water to drink, food to eat, a roof over your head, means of transportation, clothes on your back, people who call you and check in on you, etc., being happy, mindful, and feeling blessed for these wonderful gifts of life is an automatic lure. Who doesn't, at the very least on a social level, want to be around a genuinely calm peaceful happy person.

Sheldon complained constantly about the new female friend he made after I got married, who remained his friend when he and I reconnected our friendship. He complained she only did things on a superficial self-serving level. She would only call him on her way home from work because she wanted the company while she was stuck in traffic. Instead of seeing this as quality time phone conversations, he chose to be upset by it time after time, after time.

Women handle being alone better than men because men have taught us how to be alone. Reread that if you need to.

Men have taught women how to be alone and then get angry that women prefer being alone. Reread that if you need to.

Having long term anger is a choice.  If you have a roof over your head, food to eat, clothes on your back, an income, means of Transporation, means of independence, you have no reason to be in a perpetual state of anger. None. "Then why can't I find a woman to love me?!" Go ahead reread this entire blog as many times as you need to understand why. God bless.

Our Father, which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. 

Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, As it is in heaven. 

Give us this day our daily bread.

 And forgive us our trespasses, 

As we forgive them that trespass against us. 

And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. 

For thine is the kingdom, The power, and the glory, 

For ever and ever. 

Amen.