GOOD WORKS

Season's greetings!

*Please forgive the grammatical errors

For the past four days I've been deep cleaning/fixing the master bedroom I recently moved into. The past occupants let it go to filth which is something I will never understand. I will never understand how people decisively live in filth. Even the deck had so much debris on it I tossed four one-gallon trash bags of it. I can still hear my dearly departed sainted grandma Louise instruct her daughters, "If you don't want a bug infestation don't invite bugs into your home."  Grandma had a very simple yet logical lease on life. Grandma's daughters were horrible housewives. They didn't cook, clean, run errands, do laundry, or raise children. They gave birth and said, "There. Done. I've done my job." I took the mini fridge out onto the deck defrosted it and scrubbed it down. Stuck in the ice buildup were two large dead frozen bugs in the freezer section of the mini fridge and people were still using it. Oh dear. It's in their mindset. Somewhere in their childhoods a wire did not connect, or it disconnected, good sense was then rewired into absurdity like hoarding.   

We're all susceptible to a breaking point. Lord knows I've been challenged more than once but I find meditation and praying a giant help. I knit. I love the repetition of knitting. The rhythm and flow of the knitting needles. The measured sounds the knitting needles working against one another and the fact you end up making something useful after all that meditative good work. I go into a trance like state thinking about all the things I want and need to accomplish in the days ahead. It's very calming to me. It's like when I was a kid working on the farm. I could husk corn all day eight hours no breaks just my little stool, me, and piles and piles of corn. Adults would worry I wasn't taking breaks, but I didn't need any then. When I got a little older, I worked on a food manufacturing line, and then an assembly line. I loved it. That type of work puts me in a nice harmonic trance-like state. It's like prep cooking. It's very soothing to me. I highly recommend meditation however you find it. Some people work well in chaos I'm not one of them. I find it very unsettling when employers want people who work well in nonstop chaos. It says a lot about the work environment they perpetuate. If you've ever studied psychology or read any books on psychology people who thrive in chaos were generally abused as children and know no other way to live. Their jobs are chaos, their relationships are chaos, their homes are chaos, and they are the ones who create and perpetuate drama in the workplace. "Work life balance" is what you want your employers to say. Not "Thrives in chaos" unless you also love nonstop drama. Additionally, you never want to work somewhere that employs families because they will all go on vacation together leaving you to hold the bag short staffed.  

In researching the best place to devote my STRAY GIRLS project because it's not a substance abuse rehousing program, or a reentry into society from prison or gangs rehousing program, my home state of Minnesota has the best government funding for women's rehousing for up to twelve months per resident. Minnesota has always been good that way with government funding. I suspect that's why in the past twenty years there's been a boom of Somalian and Laotian immigrants - epically upsetting the state of Texas. Word got out. My hometown once a wildlife prairie is now houses, restaurants and mega chain shopping centers. I barely recognize it now sad to say. Population, what can you do. People need a place to live. The wildlife just moved further to the outskirts. Bear in mind Minnesota is a big state and majority of the population are clumped around the Twin Cities leaving the remaining state free for wildlife. Plus, Canada is right there also. All that said, I will first try putting my project together on the west coast but I'm not holding my breath especially in Nevada that voted for Trump who wants to end government assistance all together. And while I do agree there are too many useless government jobs, housing is not one of them.  

Regarding STRAY GIRLS you can only help people who want to be helped. I learned that a long time ago. Not everyone comes from money or has an inheritance, or a monthly stipend like a trust fund (i.e. every oceanside community), and many are still unemployed. Many more will continue to be unemployed with the upcoming White House administration that only caters to the 1% wealth. Help those who want to be helped. When I was younger whenever I ordered a sandwich and fries, I would pack half of it to take home and if I passed someone on the street who asked for money, I offered my untouched take-home food instead and maybe 1 out of 10 homeless people would take my sandwich. I firmly believe in teach a man to fish, but some are too old and broken to learn how to fish. Still, you can only help those who want to be helped. On my way back to my room yesterday I passed a car theft duo. They were clearly homeless and for a very long time. The duo consisted of a guy on an old beat-up child's bike and a woman on foot. They were inspecting locked car after locked car in the parking lot. I made eye contact with the woman and she sing-songed, "Hello! Hi!" to me like we were friends, like she's a stand-up citizen and wasn't just cruising the parking lot for unlocked cars. As much as I would love to see this woman turn her life around she won't. She's too old. She's too broken. She doesn't have the sense of a Billy goat, as we say in Minnesota. I could hand her a list of places for her to get a shower, something to eat, and roof over her head for the night to ponder her next move seeking assistance to get off the streets, but she would only litter the list on the ground because it's not money in her hot dirty hand. And then the next time you drive down the street all the trash bins will be tossed over because she would rather rummage through trash like a wild animal than help herself. No, you can only help those who actually want help. I preach all the time - Ask for help and accept it once given regardless how big or small. No one just hands over money to strangers.

Anyway

My room needs shelves. Everything is on sale now. I think I'll buy some shelves for aesthetics. I'm a creature of habit. I don't really need shelves. I have had the exact same routine every morning no matter where I am or where my things are regardless of in bags on the floor or on shelves. When you have the same routine for 30 years you just know. Still, shelves would dressy this place up a little and I could always donate the shelves when I eventually leave. I'm big on donating. I can't tell you how many times men have bought me things that meant nothing to either one of us I simply donated later. 

Things. I want to talk about "things". I am not a material gal. Never have been. I prefer simple farm life over every other kind of life. When I retire all I want is a little farm to grow fruit, vegetables, keeps hens, and of course plant flowers to feed the bees. Just a simple life. This bothers the men folk something terrible. Every platonic male friend I have love to tell me how much money they have and all the expensive toys they buy themselves. They also love to tell me about all their conquests regarding the female race. I'm not sure why. Confession? I'm not that kind of Reverand, dear friends. I do not indulge in material things for myself. I don't wear jewelry. Even if I had my vision, I would not buy a car. I do not have a seasonal wardrobe or an expensive cell phone. I have what I need and that's it. This makes the men folk angry because they're used to being able to purchase women. And they're used to purchasing a woman's attention because women have allowed it. Cars, clothes, and jewelry are just things. "Things" are just things and not love or respect. Things. And if a man thinks he can buy you "things" for your affection, then know it in your heart, my dears, you are also just a thing to him. Real love and respect are communication, compassion, speaking with kindness and sincerity. Now, that said, if you are the kind of gal who knows this already in your soul and still accepts the gifts from that type of man, I won't judge you. He's the one offering "things" to feed his ego. Just don't let his delusions hurt you. Remember you're just a thing to him but you're the one who has to live with it and how society will absolutely judge you. Coincidentally, tonight my female housemate was picked up at 2am by some man and returned an hour later. I pray for her safety. It is a very dangerous way to live.

This is the era of the internet. Use it! Kids today are so smart. Under 30-year-old millionaires are not uncommon in America if you use the internet wisely. I'm not about wealth and fame but kids today who are, are much smarter than my generation ever was.

Anyway

My grant proposal for STRAY GIRLS is complete but for the amount of the grant. I read where you always want to go higher than lower when asking for a grant. Schools ask upwards from 50K just for books and pencils. I'm seeking housing (a house) and essentials to start the program. I want one year of housing. I know I could get the program off the ground within a year. A 5-bedroom house in Minneapolis to rent starts around 3K a month. I'm sure HUD has housing for much less. It being the holidays I'm going to have to wait until January to send my proposal off which is fine. Gives me time to fine tune my proposal and come up with a reasonable grant amount I can successfully work with. 

May all the preachers preach: Ask for help when you need it and accept help when given no matter how big or small. God bless you.

And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the Earth, and the top of it reached to the Heaven: and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it.

--Genesis 28:12