Good morning. ☕️ Happy autumn. 🍃🍂
* Please forgive the grammatical errors. **My stroked out broken brain sometimes say things backwards but if you understand Dr. Seuss, you'll get my meaning. I started this blog few weeks ago. Busy. Plus, some medical things have come up. I have (among other things) Hashimoto's autoimmune disease which can flare up due to stress. I thought into my second month back home in Minnesota my nerves would calm down, but no. I'm a nervy person. Genetics. I never know I'm stressed out until something odd happens like I go blind in one eye. My dad and I are wired like that.
This is my favorite tweet of the month so far.
Amen. I'm willing to guess over 90K of those likes were from women.
Every man (and woman) needs time ALONE to correct things in his (or her) life. You fix you. Take that first step alone, and then another, and then another, and keep going until you reach your short term goal/s. Short term goal after short term goal. When you succeed, alone without a wife, without a girlfriend, you learn how to be alone and that way you are not a burden to your future wife/mate should you decide to have one. Learn to live alone, deal with life alone, make accomplishments alone. And by "alone" I mean just you, with help from friends and family if needed, but no significant other. Have that independence FIRST before committing to someone else in a relationship. Be a partner in a relationship not a burden. It also allows you to love who you love when the right time comes - and not partnering up with a complete stranger out of sheer desperation for financial and emotional security. That goes for both men and women.
I will never deal with this again like I did nearly every single day in my first marriage.
Back in 2022 after my ischemic stroke, end of Covid, etc., I emailed my first love, a guy I pined after for years. After swapping a few messages I stopped pining for him. My pining for him finally came to an end. In 2022 he was still the same mess he was in 1989. He was a mess then and I always hoped he would grow out of it but he didn't. We swapped messages in 2022, and that was all, then a few days ago he emailed me again responding to the 2022 email like it was the first time he read the email. It reminded me of talking with my oldest brother. He's like that. A big event could have happened ten years ago (like a death in the family) and he'll text you about it like he wasn't at the funeral - when he was. Like how did you forget that person died? You were at the funeral, bro. And that's my first love. He was like that in 1989 and he's like that now. When people say marriage is hard work, this is what they mean. I believe my sister-in-law would divorce my brother in a New York second, but since she's been towing the line financially for over ten years she'd be paying him the lifetime of alimony. "Cheaper to keep her" and they have a kid.
For the first time in my 56 years of life, I was hit up for money on the street by an Asian man. An Asian man. Crazy, eh. He didn't ask for "spare change" or "bus fare" which in MN is $2, no, he straight up asked me for "$5 or $2" cash. Wow. He was a young man in his 20's, spoke better English than me, all his limbs seemed to work as he continued walking down the sidewalk, and he didn't look any more disheveled than the typical company basement IT guy or college professor. Not sure what his deal was/is. Mental illness perhaps? Anyway, no, I don't give my signature or money on the street as a rule especially so close to where I'm staying. I have given money to a (clearly) homeless Asian man camped outside of an Asian market in Las Vegas, Chinatown, once, but that was different. He was very elderly and didn't follow me down the sidewalk asking for money. He was just sitting outside the exit glass doors of a market holding a sign. Across from him was a church mission gal with a money bucket and a sign. Take your pick. I'm more likely to give money, if to anyone, to someone silently sitting outside a grocery store with a sign than to someone harassing me on the sidewalk begging for cash. I've never given sidewalk cash. There's a local coop grocery store on the corner from the nearby metro stop I use, and every single time I walk past the coop there's investors waiting on the street to harass me to join them. How annoying. They'll follow me for a block literally harassing me to become a coop investor. Maybe (just a thought) more locals would be interested in the coop grocery store if you didn't have people harassing potential shoppers and investors on the sidewalk. Just saying. And I don't know what the angry lesbians working at the local chain grocery stores are so mad about but good Lord are they angry at the world. They especially hate gals who wear makeup and make an attempt to look feminine before leaving the house. Look, I was raised in the 70's & 80's. I like makeup. I like wearing makeup. The only time I don't wear makeup when I leave the house is if I have a hat hiding my face, or it's early enough in the day somewhere it doesn't matter what I look like. This is how I'm hard wired. Deal with it all ye angry young lesbians.
Though I am not Catholic (I'm protestant/Lutheran) I donate time and money towards a certain Catholic mission to assist people any way I can. I donate time and materials to the Lutheran church too but Catholic churches have always had better resources to combat hunger and homelessness - like a cafeteria/kitchen, living quads, resources towards medical and dental, etc. And this one Catholic mission in particular puts aiding people over religious propaganda, or so it seems. Amen. The Catholic mission closer to where I'm staying makes you sign legal disclosures I'm uncomfortable with and they want the rights to use your image for propaganda and ad campaigns. Not cool. Hard no. Just help people. I won't get in your way of sermons and life improving prerequisites like promising to attend employment workshops, and promising to not use drugs or alcohol, or separating the men from women and children while living in the quads. I'm 100% all for that, HOWEVER, I'm against church PR people running around the cafeteria with photographers snapping clicks at people just trying to eat lunch. I'm donating my time serving lunches and don't want to be part of any Catholic church ad campaigns. JUST HELP PEOPLE with no strings attached.
AND ANOTHER THING.
This isn't a protestant/Christian stance, this is a ME stance as a female human being who has lived a hefty amount of time on earth. Don't put your woes on Christ. Don't blame God. God creates - it's up to you to decide what to do with said creations. Humans have only themselves to blame for poor the choices they make. Own your bad decisions. That's on you. Own them, correct them, then move on and live better. Make better choices. As a Christian I turn to God for guidance because I don't have anyone else. I can talk to my teddy bear, sometimes I do, but aside from being cute and adorable, someone to hug when I need a hug, I don't get much feedback. Instead, I pray. When your path to a healthier better life means excluding all those in your life who anchor you down and want to keep you down, it can get pretty lonely. I pray. I ask God for guidance and I get it. But that's me. Do what you have to do to live a healthier, more productive, satisfying life. Live better. You deserve it.
AND
Two things I will never stop mentioning:
1. If you are two able bodied people in a relationship, have more than me, Be doing better than me, elsewise someone in your relationship is nothing but an anchor around the other person's neck. Apartments are not meant for couples. No mother or father on this planet will ever say to their daughter, "Oh, he can't afford a house or children, that's fine, marry him anyway." NO PARENT says that to a daughter in 2025 or ever! If you cannot afford a wife do not marry her. If you cannot afford a girlfriend do not live with her. Stay single, living apart, until you can afford a wife or live-in girlfriend IN A HOUSE. Two abled people in a relationship with combined financial resources need to live IN A HOUSE. If it's a one person income relationship because the other person is raising children, than that one person better be able to afford A HOUSE or what the heck are you doing in a relationship in the first place!
2. Women need to stop thinking of herself as whores. No, I don't sugarcoat words like these. I appreciate women's lib to get a job to support herself while she's single, equal pay, equal rights, equal opportunity, etc., I appreciate that 100%. What I don't understand, will never understand or appreciate, is a woman who has sex just for the heck of it. Young lady, are you serious?! Just for the heck of it. No reason. He's not your husband, he doesn't own his own house, you're not financially independent, you don't own your own house, not even enough to rent a house, but you're just giving your body away in some dinky one bedroom little apartment for what - absolutely nothing. Just whoring yourself out for the heck of it. Sex is a self harmful way to make money. I'm 100% against it. "Consenting adults" some people say. No. A thousand times no. It's not consent when she believes sex will keep her alive. That's not consent. That's called a purchase. You're purchasing her like a pizza. And again, I don't share the same faith as the Catholic church but I will support any institution if it helps people off the streets, off harmful lifestyles, into employment, and into a healthier maintained lifestyle. Do you know what women who whore themselves turn into - desperate. They turn desperate. Never underestimate the dangers of a 40 year old woman who has nothing, became nothing, owns nothing, is too old to have sugar daddies, they then turn desperate and YOU sir may walk past them one day when their desperation is at it's peak. Do you really want to be on the next episode of Snapped? That's why I support this particular Catholic mission, they aid people into healthier lifestyles. Healthier choices.
I'm so glad I received my (albeit modest) inheritance after I was divorced. I don't know what the divorce laws say in CA about marriage and inheritances but that would have been thousands of dollars more to the lawyers just to find out.
I didn't have involved parents growing up. I'm a pure Gen X. Latch/Key kid. Gen X parents were selfish human beings. Thank God for my grandmother but I know what it's like to not have parents. I made awful decisions in life but then I changed all that, however, not without scars and consequences. I got married when he should have just been a boyfriend for three years because that's how many good years we had out of nine+ years of marriage, three. I stayed in the marriage because family and friends told me I had to. Marriage is serious "until death do you part" and let me tell you, no lie, one of us would have absolutely ended up on Dateline had we stayed married for another month. Still, that divorce financially crippled me (severely) for many years. I got a government EBT card for six months after my stroke. I would have starved otherwise. Then Covid happened. Then I had 1.2 strokes. it was all so crippling. Now that I am able to help others in 2025/26 I owe it to others to pay forward the help I received from friends during those crippling years. It's my duty. It's all of our duties now with the current white house administration making life so miserably expensive. Way to NOT lower the cost of groceries like you promised "on day one" you useless orange turnip.
My favorite relationships these days are the photo exchanges I do on Twitter (X). My absolute favorite people. We go online. We do our thing. Show each other photos we took the day/week before, then log off. See ya when I see ya. My quest for the perfect yellow curry recipe takes precedence over whatever drama people I don't know are going through.
My home made yellow curry thus far:
Its all about the right combo of seasonings. Coconut cream rather than coconut milk. I'm learning.
I'm old. I like being old. I'll be 57 years old January. I've done my part. I still do my part helping society donating my time with what sanity I've managed to hold on to after 56 years of life. Soon to be 57. Wow. In a little over three years I'll be 60. (60!) "Hello darkness my old friend." 😆 I'm happy now, single, alone, just working on my yellow curry A-game.
I'm done dealing with other peoples drama. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. You want society fixed, the homeless situation fixed, then be part of the solution.
This week I bought two bags of groceries for $200. Two tomatoes were $5.26. People were fooled into believing a deflated orange-tube-donkey-looking-con-man was going to fix the country with his lies. How did so many get fooled?
That's why everyone ought to donate their time. All my knittings (blankets, hats, etc.) get donated. I donate my time at the mission serving food. I donate money to causes I deem worthy. I donate blood. Just donate. It's up to us to help those who need help. Don't be selfish like our parents. I had help when I was down. It's my duty now to help others. Refresh my Karma card. You get what you give juuust like that peanut better toast eating lady who talked down to EBT recipients not receiving November assistance. She got fired from her job. Good. Karma, bish. You get what you give. Guess we'll be seeing her in line at the mission. Welcome. Now straighten your life out.
Volunteer. Do it for Jesus, or for your sainted grandma, or just do it because you're a kind decent human being. You never know when you too might be in need one day. Marriage is grand until it isn't. Losing 40K on a divorce lawyer just to fight for my lawful right to 100K in shared assets was a two year pain I never want to experience ever again because that money didn't come quickly - and at the time I had none left.
Deep breaths. Meditate. Headsets on, ignore the world for a while.
I rely so heavily on films to get away from the madness of the world. These are my top two favorite films of all time. I've seen Sense and Sensibility circa 1995 over 30 times. Jane Austin relaxes me.
AND
There's no swearing in these films. No gratuitous sex scenes. No nudity. Just highly intelligent and interesting dialog and story. What I never got in my marriage I get in those two movies.
I will never understand why American men are so preoccupied with sex instead of focusing all that energy towards personal success. Sex is dumb. Literally dumb. It takes ZERO IQ to have sex. When men are so preoccupied with sex it's the same thing as announcing to the world "I'm no smarter than a chimp." What do you say at parties when worldly men of finance and industry are talking about the stock exchange? It's a giant red flag when men don't have male friends. "I prefer the company of women." Why? Because you can't level up with other men? Men need other men in their lives to commiserate with, to compete with, to advance with. Do that with other men, not women. It's healthy. Never stop learning. Never stop educating yourself as a man. It's no wonder America is in this horrible situation we're in with a president who couldn't point out Vancouver on a map... of Canada.
Seriously. If Russia attacked America right now, I truly worry this White House would bend over so fast, Trump would have the entire White House demolished (not just the east wing) in an hour for Putin's second palace. *Trump is all hat, no cattle. So to the men who will work hard AF on himself to make himself 100% independent off booze, drugs, tobacco, promiscuity, and a life of crime, you're what America needs to succeed. We need trad-husbands. We need men to be men of industry again. I've been watching PBS reels on how America was made, and on almost every reel a man fell in love with a woman and to earn her hand in marriage he went and built a successful lumber mill, flour mill, or a car industry. Be those fellas.
(Sigh) Drama. Thank God I'm old. I feel for the young people. God bless the children. They need it.
The only drama I tolerate is on the big screen. Unless it's like this. I'm all about this kind of drama:
I'm going back to staying in hotels when I travel I think. Airbnb can be such a hassle nowadays. The crazy drunk woman who I rented my last airbnb from still text messages me! Lady, that was almost 3 weeks ago. Move on! Mental illness? I'm over it. Its cheaper to stay in hotels these days anyway. There were several listings in MN on airbnb for 5K a month room rentals. 5K! In MN! Only a room and shared everything else. 5K! That's more than a 1 bedroom apartment in Brentwood, CA. So then out of morbid curiosity I looked at the 5K room rental to see what's so grand about it to be deemed worthy of 5K a month - and it was absolutely nothing! Each room looked like something you would see in a 1985 horror movie cabin! And they want 5K for it! Delusional. Sick. Add to that you never know the mental condition of the people you're renting from anymore like the lurking woman from my last airbnb who still contacts me. *The crazy airbnb white woman finally stopped messaging me. Although, she's probably now in front of my current rental in her car with laser scope.
More and more people are mentally ill and/or afflicted by aging, or so it seems. Certain people get to a certain age (especially over 50) and they go (what?) crazy. They get depressed and desperate.
The mystery is, why are so many people depressed about being old? Aging is a fact of life. Always has been. Yet in 2025 more and more people are on medication unaccepting of aging and dying. Why is this a struggle all of sudden? In my daily prayers I let God know I'm accepting of whatever the day brings. I thank Him for my time here even if that includes God taking me off the planet on this day. I've almost died several times in my 56 years of life. When I had my ischemic stroke/s in 2021 I was okay with dying if that's where the day was going. I've made my peace being old and growing older still. I've made my peace with death. I encourage everyone to embrace their age, whatever age you are. That's why I admire Pamela Anderson for aging gracefully and beautifully. I don't know any mentally well adjusted person who thinks this is an improvement. Duck face. ick. She was so pretty before.
No woman would do this to herself unless encouraged by a man/men who passed on his/their body dysmorphic disorder onto her. If you don't love the way she looks without plastic surgery then admit you simply don't love her. Its okay not to be in love with her. Move on.
And this.
Oh dear.
Wow.
That's the smile of a woman who just put antifreeze in her husband's coffee.
Anyway. Back in Minnesota.
A childhood friend of mine, a gal I've known since we were little girls playing with Barbies, and I, have been texting each other about getting together for lunch or (my favorite) coffee and a walk around a park or lake, and I could tell she got annoyed with me after my last text to her, "Let me know if you have any free time next week." I forgot how super chill everything is here about getting together. I sounded pushy. I get it. People who grew up in Minnesota, like I did, are like them Arlen Texas boys in the alley drinking beer talking about propane and propane accessories, all:
"Yup."
"Yup."
"Yup."
That's our speed. So yeah. Maybe I'll see her before the first snowfall. Maybe not. Probably not.
I've been pondering getting a cat but it has to happen organically like a cat redistribution type thing, and no cat so feral I can't trim it's nails. But, who knows, maybe I'll fall in love with a likewise elderly man in his 60's who happens to be a farmer with dogs. I like dogs. I like farms. I like farmers. Could happen.
I lived near the ocean in L.A. for too many years. I lived in 120 degree desert summers. I lived in the crowd, in the noise, in the chaos. Now as a senior citizen, living near a quiet empty cornfield again sounds like absolute Heaven.
Halloween is afoot. I love this time of year. Luckily others do too. The Christian Karens get all worked up over devil-this and devil-that, it's Halloween, Karen, lighten up. I love Halloween. I love the holidays. I bought a fake Christmas tree but I think I'm going to donate it to the mission. Being back home in Minnesota, where I spent all my childhood Christmas(es) is what I truly missed. I don't need a tree anymore. I'm home. I much rather a family not have to spent $60 on a tree in this terrible economy. The tree was $60 four weeks ago. Now, I'm sure it's $100.
ANYWAY...
Thank goodness for Snoopy.
I can't even get into politics anymore. 🙄
Other than:
AND
These gals confuse me. Why do these gals throw themselves under the bus. You know in 2029 charges will be brought against member of the senior white house staff for crimes against the American people. It will happen. Don't these gals know it will happen?
This made me laugh so hard.
Thank you, Governor Newsom!
Exactly how I feel about Thanksgiving.
AND ANOTHER THING
As I was leaving Target yesterday some guy stopped me and insisted I pay attention to him. Rude! He had nothing significant to say. He just wanted my attention. Ick. "Have you heard of Habitat For Humanity?" He asked. Yes. Yes, I have. Now let me ask you a question good sir, have you made Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior? I mean really, if he insists on demanding my attention, I'm going to make it worth my while.
Hey Twin Cities!
Times be tough out there, folks. Let's continue doing what we Minnesotans have done from day one, help those in need.
I don't just talk the talk. I walk the walk.
In closing,
A little bit o' Minnesota for you fine folks.
(The reason I blurred out what is on the piano bench is because, well, you know how some people memorialize their beloved pets who crossed over the rainbow bridge in an urn, welp, they didn't do that here. They choose a different way to memorialize their pet.)
Our Father in Heaven, I heartily pray Thee that Thou wouldst
graciously preserve me together with all devout Christians *and non Christians, this day and at
all times, from every ill and danger of body and soul, that I may each day
be found to walk in Thy way.
Amen.
Okay, bye!
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