STOIC SENSE AND SENSIBILITY

Good evening.

*Please forgive the grammatical errors.

Unpopular opinion: How come no one bats an eye about little 5 and 6 year old girls given baby dolls and strollers to play with. I find it disturbing that grooming girls to make babies start as early as 5 and 6 years old. Give girls athletic/creative tools - art, music, dance, sports, etc. Stop giving 5 and 6 year old girls toy babies to take care of. Gross.

I cut my hair. This is a bad windswept picture of it. When you let your natural hair color grow out, at 56, looking like a mad scientist one way or another is inevitable.

I've been writing my book - as ever. I'm not liking the process this time around but you know what they say, trust the process. Usually I write in thick blocks of script as in big fat chapters at a time. Sometimes I can write for days on end. This time around however I've got notes all over the freaking place - on my laptop, on my phone, and on paper. Trust the process, I guess.

I want to talk to you about values. No, not religious or puritan values, I'm talking about what values you opt to prioritize your life with, and in talking about values seeing how misguided values might be the reason for all the "Karens" & "Chads" of the world. Still with me? Good. EXAMPLE: A neighbor parks in your designated parking spot. You respond by telling the neighbor to stop doing this. 1) The neighbor says fine and stops parking in your spot. Or 2) The neighbor blows you off and keeps parking in your spot anyway. If 1, can you leave it alone now and mark this problem solved or do you still need to be mad about it because he didn't apologize for parking in your spot. And if 2, do you do something that will result in a positive affect OR do you keep the hostility alive with negative behavior back at the neighbor. Ask yourself, what is the value of your life choices in these scenarios. I think people need to take a moment to evaluate the value of their lives. What is your life worth? 

I actually told someone recently to CALM DOWN. Because, you know, that always works. Ha.   

Being perpetually mad and hurt are never valuable life choices. Never. You choose to be mad and hurt. You choose what emotions are valuable to you. If the common denominator to one failed relationship after another failed relationship is you - it's 💯 your choice to value your failures OR find a healthier more productive way to live.

American Midwesterners raised in the 70's and 80's like I was, AKA the Gen X generation, were raised to be "chill" in other words stoic. The seven principles of stoicism for those of you too lazy to Google it, are:

1. Patience 

2. Reason

3. Justice

4. Courage

5. Resourcefulness 

6. Creativity

7. Humility

Unacceptable behavior in stoicism are:

1. Anger/yelling

2. Poor choices/repeated 

3. Complaining (this is especially annoying to me)

4. Ignorance

5. Laziness

(Etc.)

Complainers & whiners are THE WORST.

EXAMPLE: "Excuse me (store employee) do you by chance happen to know where the essential oils are?" If the store employee responds with, "No, sorry." Then the answer was no. You asked a question. They answered. Move on. Getting pissed off and angry (for two years!) about an employee not knowing where the essential oil is, is unproductive. The goal is finding essential oil. That's why I walked into the store. Getting mad at someone doesn't get the essential oil any quicker, dig. That's stoicism - using reason and rational instead of raw emotions. How important is the oil. Do you need it right now. Can you go someplace else. Can you order it through Amazon. Finding solutions instead of creating more problems, is stoicism. 

The reason why there are so many "Karens" and "Chads" in the world is because these people choose to be angry, lazy, and ignorant. Laziness being the number one reason for anger. The misogynists of the world blame women for their own failures in society. Their mentality is, "My failures are your fault. I wouldn't fail if you made me better" And to that I say, SUCK IT. For stoics it's just poor logic to blame someone else for your failures. Misogynists proudly displaying their ignorance is something I will never understand. When all the women men complain about are content without them, those men are the problem, not the women. The women are fine. It's the men who are angry. Misogyny = laziness and failure.

When I was a kid, my brothers' mom was the mentally ill person of the neighborhood. All she knew how to do was yell, scream, cry, and blame everyone else but herself for her misery. Only, why was she so miserable? She had a roof over her head she didn't have to pay for, she had clothes on her back she didn't have to pay for, she had the run of a house she didn't have to pay for anything, she didn't have to work, my brothers and I raised ourselves, she literally had every day to do whatever the heck she wanted to do - and of all the things she could have done, she chose to wallow in misery and anger every single day of her life until the day she died. Crazy. I don't get it. 

Here is a stoic lesson to all young people, in 2025 sex is the last item on your to-do list. My generation (Gen X) spent millions of dollars to perfect self gratification. You're welcome! Boomers who chose not to advance into the modern world, F them. F them to the hill and back. Too bad, buddy. Snooze you lose! Learning electronics is not hard. They even have FREE adult enrichment classes to teach you how to use a computer FOR FREE. If you still choose not to learn, then F you to the hill and back. Your problem.

Remember the principles of Stoicism, number 5, be resourceful. Get what you need when you need it. Failure to do so is wanting to fail. Why would you ever want to fail? If your only goal in life is sex, you're going to be a miserable monster to be around. Loneliness of your own self making.

When someone says they're "chill" what they're really saying is - they're stoic. They value reason and sensibility over emotional hysteria. 

I grew up in a German community. Once upon a time my home state (Minnesota) was dominantly German. Germans value intellect,  philosophy, and creativity, or at least these Germans did. I wish I could be silly and laugh all day about everything and absolutely nothing, be blind to the world and all it's BS and cruelty but, and I make no apologies for it, I have always been too studious to be a silly girl or woman.

Like the Good book says,

For in much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.

-- Ecclesiastes 1:18

I'm going back to school. Taking language courses. Brushing up on my German, and learning sign language ASL. I know the alphabet and some words and sentences in ASL. When I was a kid a babysat a little boy named Ryan whose parents are deaf but Ryan was hearing. Every time he signed to his parents he would speak out loud at the same time. I don't know if this was a reflex or what, but what little experience I do have with ASL it seems most people who are hearing, talk out loud while they sign. I pick up on some things pretty quickly and learned the ASL alphabet and some sentences within days and it just stuck with me all through the years. I also want to learn conversational Japanese because I do plan on going there regardless for work or pleasure. While most immersive English is taught online, I'm hoping to go overseas to teach it. 

All I know is, as an older working adult, my options are slim. All the work boards say people over 50 should work for themselves. Well, dang. Teaching seems reasonable. I'll give it a go! 

God bless us all, and good night.