RIGHTEOUS

Good evening.

*Please forgive the grammatical errors.

On this day the Governor of California has earned his bones. When Newsom told the boarder czar, "Come and get me" after being threatened to be put in jail for defending his state, Newsom earned his presidential bones (chef's kiss) in pure GENX fashion. 

On this day I declare President Newsom. I wasn't certain before, I am now.

I am but a messenger. The voice of one. The voice of many. 

It's time for God to put the fear of Himself into this entire White House administration. It's time. We already know each and every one of them will have to answer to God for all the wounds they have inflicted upon Him. A strike upon any of God's children is a strike upon Him. An eternity is a long time to answer for your evil doings. An eternity in hell is where many of these MAGA people are going. An eternity suffering for their sins. And while I don't want anyone to suffer, there are consequences for your (repeated) actions. An eternity is a long time to atone for your sins but that's exactly what this administration is going to be doing. Atoning for all eternity. Trump and all the minions who bow before him will spend an eternity in hell atoning for their actions. They will be shackled by their throats in the flames of hell begging and pleading for their suffering to end... but it never will. Atonement. Do not feel bad for them. Their suffering for all eternity is the only way to restore peace for the kids coming into the world. These are the consequences of their actions.  

California, my beautiful home. How I love this state. It's my adult home. I love growing up in Minnesota. It's my childhood home. The house I grew up in was broken, but my friends, the beautiful state of Minnesota, and God healed so many of those wounds. I have lived and loved in God's mysterious light in Minnesota and California. I love both states for they are the blood in my veins.

The original start to this blog...

This morning's Uber driver said he was 72 years old. He simply offered up that piece of rando information. Yes, he was indeed an old man. An old man who kept looking in his review mirror at me instead of keeping his eyes on the road. He almost got us into a car accident several times because he was too busy lurking at me in the rearview mirror. Eyes on the road please! Furthermore, he kept missing turn after turn, and he would not stop talking. Ugh. God was testing my patience this morning. Not the worst Uber ride ever, but drivers who talk and talk and talk need to get work in customer service, they would drive the complainers away. He said, "I live near you. I see you walking down the street sometimes." Which is the most creepiest thing a man could say to a woman. Ugh. Why, God, why. He said he was married for 40 years. I replied, "That's awesome!" To which he replied, "No, I need a break from my marriage!" And then cackle laughed like he just told the best joke ever. (Dear Lord, it's even horrifying to write it.) Look buddy, you're 72 years old. Stay with your wife. If she put up with you for 40 years you should be grateful, planting flowers in the yard for her and kissing her feet. Men who think they're hot studs after 60 years of age are delusional thinking that's what women want from a 60+ year old man. Just as a woman over 40 years of age should not compete with 20-year-old gals, men over 40 years of age should not compete with 20-year-olds guys. It's embarrassing. Young, pretty and hopeful. Old, restrained and wise. Men who lurk women anywhere are gross. Women don't look beautiful for strange men, women want to look their best to boost their confidence, to feel good, and if they're a GEN X'er like me, we were raised to put on a little makeup before leaving the house regardless of what we're doing. Going to the dry cleaners, hide those sleepy eyes with some powder and mascara first. That's just how we were raised. None of it is for you fellas. Absolutely none of it.

The Uber driver taking me back to my rental was also chatty with me but at least he was my age. His accent was a little hard to understand sometimes but when he spoke to me I wasn't creeped out like I was with the first Uber driver, and the conversation we were having was relatable to our age. Men who are five years older, and five years younger are who I'm comfy around. Seriously bros, eyes on the road! 

Got the same Uber driver a second time. The old fella asked me if I usually take Uber in the morning. Look pops, I'm not interested. Took metro this morning. I wish Waymo was in the desert but it's not. 

I grew up in a time and place where once people got to my age they had long ago grown up. By the time they get to my age they long ago left all that youth fueled BDE angst for more sophisticated and mature loving relationships with A SPOUSE, with friends, and with a family. That's why divorce is so hard even if you're the one who wanted it. No one gets married hoping to get divorced. I got married because I fell madly in love. I was so in love I would have married my husband 100 times over. Love was instant. I fell in love with him an hour into our first date - which was to Disneyland. Madly in love. I never had interest going to Disneyland until my husband took me. My husband I went on our first date and were inseparable from that day on. I never wanted him to leave my side. Aside from work and running errands my husband and I were inseparable. He was my best friend. We did everything together. I never wanted to be apart from him. That's why divorce is so horrible. Aside from losing your mate, you lose your best friend. I've been legally divorced now since 2014 and I haven't come close to feeling the love I had for my husband with any other man, but I know if I'm meant to love again like that, God will put that man in my path and I will know him instantly as I had before. I think that's why God put my first husband in my path, the starter husband, so I would know that kind of love if/when my second husband comes along, and if my "second" husband asks me to, God, though I am not Catholic I will annul my first marriage and acknowledge my current husband as my only marriage. I would get the annulment too. My husband cheated on me and got another woman pregnant with twins while we were still married. I would be granted the annulment no problem.

I've been writing a story. It's written in the form of a play but there's a part of me who thinks I could turn this story into a series and in now learning how to AI animate, maybe a comic series. Goodness knows we need a new comic series.

Learning AI is so controversial among my creative circle. We're all hands on artists, pencil and paint mostly, even photography is shunned as art in my circle, but ever since computers and the internet pencil and paint are obsolete. I lament over the loss of demand for hands on art but what can we artists do other than keep up with the modern world or get left behind. I'm a one-woman show, folks. Why shouldn't I use all the tools at my fingertips to tell my story in the most cost effective way. No one is hiring me. Not at my age. Why shouldn't I use all the tools at my fingertips to better my creative/work life. "Because it takes away work from actual artists." Bro, I can't pay those artists. No one can anymore. 

As always when I need a break from humans there's Big Bear California's beloved eagles. When Sunny fledged from the nest, it was smooth like BTS Butter. When Gizmo fledged, it looked like it was completely on accident like she lost her footing. Her foot slipped off the branch and I legit heard Gizmo say on her way down, "OH SHI... OH DAM... HAIL MARY FULL OF GRACE!... I'M COMING ELIZABETH!... OH MY LOR... HEEELP!... AAHH!..." Then Gizmo safely descended to a shorter tree, thank goodness. As the hours passed by momma eagle brought her baby Gizmo a fish to make sure she ate and in hopes of getting her eaglet to follow her back to the nest. Gizmo was freaked out that she "fledged" and it showed. She was traumatized. Eagle parents are awesome. I love them. They make certain their babies can be on their own before letting them go to be on their own. I'm rather certain mama Jackie saw Gizmo's flop fledge. When I woke up this morning both babies Sunny & Gizmo were back in the nest. Yay! Then later this morning Sunny & Gizmo took flight once more. Will they come back to the nest, maybe, maybe not. It's all so bitter sweet isn't it. But then winter comes and maybe they'll be more eggs from parents Jackie and Shadow. These eagles are more American than what's going on in America right now. 💯 

What Trump and his administration is doing is all so horrifying. The hypocrisy is out of control. I don't know what this WH administration has against immigrants. It's like they're all new to being alive in America or something. America is built on immigrants. We welcome immigrants. That's our thing. These MAGA people suffer from cult derangement disorders. Why are they so hostile against Hispanics or any dark skinned people. What's going on here? They'll all have to square the hate and violence they create, with God one day. They may never know where or when but they will have to answer to God for their treacherous behavior against Him. Look at all the children of God they've harmed. You better believe they will have to answer for it and God will come to collect. The strong foes will yield to Christ. They think they are safe under Satan's wings but he's always returned to hell and you better believe he's taking this administration with him. Look, I'm just a messenger. I've seen the best of people turn into the worst of people and their souls could not be saved. If you've ever thought you heard screams but no one's around you, you heard screams alright, just not among the living. 

For which things sake the wrath of God commeth on the children of disobedience.

--Colossians 3:6

God bless you. May you make the right decisions.

KIDS TODAY

Good morning!

*Please forgive the grammatical errors. 

How exciting, Sunny, the older Big Bear (CA) eaglet fledged on June 2, and then the next day she came back to the nest. Hunting your own food is hard, girl! I'm taking lessons from mom & dad eagles Jackie and Shadow. If grocery prices go up any more I'm buying a fishing rod to catch my own fish right along with these eagles. So yes, as bitter-sweet as it was seeing Sunny fly off, it was nice seeing her return. Sometimes eagles return to the nest after fledging, sometimes they don't. I've never been this invested in eagles before but you know, with all the unnecessary madness and chaos in the world brought on by men who won't fight their own battles especially in America, as an American I'm now emotionally invested in our country's bird. They give me hope. (No pressure!) 

I think back to my earliest memories (around three years old I guess) to when I was 20 years old (because after that I was a drug and alcohol fueled mess for about ten years) but during my former years I remember how life was easy enough where I grew up, small town Minnesota, that my friends and I would stay out from sunrise to sundown and hours beyond, on our own, zero supervision outside of school and church, fending for ourselves most of the time. If your finger falls off it's staying off. I used to hitchhike, climb trees, jump fences, hop on trains, and sleep in the woods with just a sleeping bag without a second thought, no never mind. I could be miles and miles from home with nothing to eat and no water, not giving it a second thought. If I wanted something I would simply get it, was my mentality. Nothing had hurt me or my friends at this time to give us a second thought about anything any adult today would deem a hazard. I wish kids today knew that kind of freedom. The only hazard in my childhood was my brothers' mom who suffered several undiagnosed mental illnesses and everyone just left her to be crazy, like the portrayal of (child) Helen Keller in 1962 film The Miracle Worker before Anne Sullivan arrived. Only, no help arrived for my brothers' mom. She actually died, alone, mentally ill in a hospital in 2023. Sad as that sounds, if you knew her for one minute you would understand how only a court order could help her. Still, the 70's and 80's, maybe parts of the 90's, were probably the last decades of childhood innocence. I wouldn't let any child of mine out of my sight for a second in 2025. 

Women like Senator Joni Ernst remind me of my brothers' mentally ill mother. These poor women live in their own la-la immature fairytale make-believe worlds. I suspect women who share her make-believe mentality are all still psychologically eight years old, not a thread of real world understanding in 2025. No grasp of reality with these types of women. It's a form of mental illness. Could be schizophrenia or any derealization disorder no matter how mild or severe. How else do you explain someone being so out of touch with reality. Add to that, to not have any empathy for other human beings is also a danger to society. She could have borderline personality disorder. I hope there aren't any clocktowers in her neighborhood. I 100% could see her climbing up there some day with an automatic and just take out people as they pass by. You know, I'm willing to bet, because Senator Joni Ernst says these crazy things in front of the camera so often, her husband and/or children could probably have her committed for a very long time if they wanted. In fact, EXAMPLE: My brothers and I spoke on our dad's behalf to get our dad's 20-something year marriage to his crazy first wife annulled when he converted to Catholicism. Even though that makes my brothers technically illegitimate now in the eyes of the church, we all nonetheless testified to the Catholic tribunal against my brothers' mom on our dad's behalf when he converted. It's not that hard to get the Catholic church to annul a marriage these days, especially when all three kids testified against the wife. Dad got his annulment. He wanted to remarry in the Catholic church to his second wife and in order to do that, his first marriage had to be annulled. And these politicians, God bless them, seemingly have no idea what cameras do, because they continue to represent themselves in such a horrible way in front of cameras, how could their sanity not come into question? I mean, how long has Joni Ernst said nutty things in front of the camera? Does anyone know what the heck Ernst was talking about when she rando filmed herself saying something totally weird about the tooth fairy? If she was some scatterbrained actress I wouldn't give Ernst a second thought but she's a politician. Oh dear. Children, don't be shy to 5150 your own mom. It could save her life someday, or yours. Seriously. 

Anyway,

 

Yesterday I went to visit Sheldon's grave finally. He's been gone two years now, not one (has it really been two years already) I miswrote that my brothers mom and Sheldon died last year, wow no, they died two years ago. He was buried on a beautiful hill. Gorgeous view. It was weird sitting on his gravesite. He was below me presumably twelve feet below me, a rotting corpse. Weird. I don't get the whole returning to the earth thing in full body form, in a casket. I'm pro-cremation, and then returned to the earth. But I got a chance to say goodbye to him. I should have gone sooner but the cemetery is high on a steep hill and not easy for a pedestrian to walk to, which I am, especially with my foot still healing. Luckily a nice security guard offered to drive me up the hill to Sheldon's grave. Walking down the hill was easy. My foot is still giving me a little grief although I was able to not use the boot yesterday. If I was going anywhere today I would use the boot. What I miss most about Sheldon is all the giggly fun we had together. We were besties from like 1992 or '93 until 2020. Over 25 years. Aside, from my husband he was my best friend. But then around 2017, after I moved to Las Vegas, he just got angry - again. The first time being when I met my husband and got married. My ex-husband and Sheldon did not get along, but I cannot not go on with my life because my friends don't want me to have a life outside of them, know what I'm saying. Still, Sheldon was super fun for an old man. We went to rock concerts, went out to eat everywhere, traveled together, we just had a lot of fun. If only he was my age we would have had more time together. This is why being with someone, especially a potential mate, your age is so important. You want someone who is going through the same things as you are when you are. Being 56 and changing careers is miserable enough starting from scratch, learning a new industry and all the technology that goes with it, imagine being with someone older than you by more than ten years and then they die before you even retire. Good grief. Going back out in the dating world at 60+ years of age is not something a woman looks forward to. Plus, I want to be with someone during my retirement time, not mourning someone in my final years. I miss when things were easier. I miss squandering my beautiful irresponsible youth. Alas, times were different then.

You know...

In the 70's and 80's women powdered the shine off their nose. In 2025 women add shine to the tip of their noses. I don't get it. Whatever. More concerning, in the 70's and 80's women wore date/prom/wedding dresses that coined the term "blushing bride". In 2025 women call these dresses "vintage" and "full coverage" and "modest" as dresses have become brazenly sexier showing a ton of flesh over time. In the 70's and 80's young men and women knew sowing their wild oats had an expiration date as marriage with someone their own age was the goal by the time they turned 29. In 2025 relationships are seemingly a free-for-all with no goals in sight resulting in less marriages and children. And look, it's not my generation's world anymore. It's their world now, the younger generations, and they have to survive in it with the consequences of their actions just like my generation had to do. Younger generations, like every generation since the dawn of man, must pave their own way good or bad. Old men and women screaming at the kids about how good we had it once does nothing but teach the kids to likewise scream about irrelevant things thus contributing nothing to their society. No one liked screamo's then, no one likes a screamo now. So to all the grumpy old men and women out there just please Sshhhh. Let them figure it out. We're only going to be alive for another 30 to 35 years at best and half of those years are going to be spent golfing or looking for our glasses and house keys. We contribute practically nothing to their world beyond what we already contribute in silence. How many millionaires did our generations make? Answer: NONE. Just those who were going to inherit anyway. The rest of us, NONE. And look how many millionaires the 20-somethings have. I mean, it's amazing. Computers and the internet are the best things to happen for these younger generations.   

I have a friend who is 72 years old and hearing him talk about women is like a time machine back to the misogynistic 70's. He says things like, "Women shouldn't shower for a week before seeing her gynecologist" and "Women should always go out in public by herself if she's looking to meet a man." Wow no. No on both. But he says these things in 2025 because he said he read a book published back in the 70's that advised women to do these things. My guy, that was back in the 70's! Literally everything published before 2025 regarding social construct between men and women are cover-to-cover books of nothing but nonsense words in today's world. Nothing written about social mingles between men and women published in the 70's 80's 90's or even last year for that matter, none of that applies now. His generation, especially his generation of men, understands 2025 even less than my GEN X generation of men, and many of those dudes are hopelessly lost. At least my generation bathes, and no woman should ever (not ever ever ever) go out socially by herself when looking to meet a man. It's not safe, ladies. There's too many predators and criminals out there for any woman to hang solo when out looking to meet a man. Bring a buddy, bring two, and tell people where you're going, always. If you came together, you leave together, just you guys, no one else, always. Safety first. 

I think America is on the brink of civil war. I really do. Taco's R'ICE agents are out of control. Why do they cover their faces if they think they're right every time destroying someone's life and the lives of their loved ones. If you think you're being righteous as a R'ICE agent, don't hide. Also, R'ICE agents need to start carrying warrants on them. Not everyone they push in the streets are "weak liberals." Crazy, is running the circus here, fellas. Crazy, is neither democrat or republican, and Crazy has the reigns. Crazy, walks around openly with fire bombs, neck bombs, and guns rando murdering people on the street on any given weekday. White Crazy, just murdered his three young daughters, but y'all after some dishwasher for being an undocumented brown Mexican? Is it worth it, R'ICE agents, just to deport someone? Y'all worried about immigration, when Crazy might be right behind you with an automatic assault weapon and some hand grenades. And I cannot help but wonder where all this Crazy came from. Do Russian soldiers really think the war with Ukraine is worth it. Is dying for Putin worth it. At some point in all our lives we have to ask ourselves are the actions and consequences of our actions worth me doing what I'm doin right now. How did we get to this. 

I pray Pope Leo XIV has it in him to reach the people. I pray he instills compassion into the hearts and minds of those who attend his mass and remind those people of the sacrifices others have died for in order for us to exist today. It's not just a holiday of remembrance, it's an every day remembrance. If People Leo can tap those Catholics, then hope of all hope the flock will spread the word of kindness, compassion, understanding, and reason.

There's something to be said for the wisdom of having a Pope who is young enough to get what's going on in the world yet old enough to sermon with wisdom. Pope Leo XIV is quite possibly the only older person people under 39 years of age will listen to. 

Sure, I can bicker with the younger social media priests who argue Catholics are Christians, but every protestant in will disagree. This is possibly the one subject all protestants of every denomination will agree on, that Catholics are Catholics and are no longer Christians. Catholics stopped being Christians when they stopped preaching the word of Christ centuries ago. Priests preach saints over Christ because it's in their best interest to do so. Only the Pope can confirm a saint, giving credence to the existence of priests, bishops, archbishops, deacons, and cardinals who go on to be Pope. Hmm, convenient. Protestants preach Christ, having a relationship with Christ, that's why we're Christians. Christ = Christians. You cannot be a Christian without Christ who lived as a man, the son of God, born from the purest of women. Christ started his church before he was crucified for it. Priests can put the crucified Christ on their crosses all they want while preaching the crucifixion and resurrection but if they're not preaching from the Bible, from the time God the Father created life, then what is the foundation of the Catholic church? I cannot stress enough the importance of a Bible based church. Look, be a Christian or not, but if you're going to be a Christian read the Bible and learn about Christ from day one before his birth. 

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved the face of the waters. 

--Genesis 1:1-2

    

As Martin Luther instructs, your relationship with the Father, son, and Christ/God should be a knowing one. It is up to you to educate yourself with the Bible from page one, Genesis 1. Make an educated decision. Read the Bible first. I was seven years old when I started reading the Bible. No priests. No ministers even. Just me and my Nana. My grandmother gave a small stack of children's Bibles to read after I made a religious inquiry to my parents, and then grandma asked what I thought about the books after I read them. From that point on I chose to be a Lutheran. I'm 56-years-old, back in the 70's protestants weren't even baptized until their 18th birthday because unlike the Catholic church, protestants believe Christ/God knows who we are (I mean, He made us), He knows where we are, loves us unconditionally, provides us with a path in life without wanting anything in return, that's what unconditional love is, but should you choose to follow His path you make that commitment with a baptismal. Makes sense, right. Unlike the Catholic church that baptizes you as an infant and then has expectations of you from that day after. An infant. Wow the pressure. Can we learn to walk first? 

Now... 

In 2025 things may have changed regarding baptismal. I'm old school protestant. I still read the Bible with the use of "thee" and "thy" because I grew up reading Shakespeare and those words make sense to me. And while I oppose any change of text in the Bible, your minister should be able to say "you", "I", and "we" without changing the structure of the passage (in a Bible based church).

Of course, protestant churches aren't immune to greed and scandal. In my soul I cannot, will not, condone any church (protestant or Catholic) that has million (billions?) of dollars invested in it. You know who I'm talking about. Church is a place for a community to gather and share faith. That's it. Nothing more. Nothing less. Church does not require millions of dollars. Christ's church was wherever he walked. He is the church. If you're sitting in a park reading the Bible, or praying, or talking to God, you're in church. Christ is the church. Church is wherever you want or need church to be. Catholics love to believe only clergy like priests can contact God but that's simply not true. God is everywhere believe it or not, like it or not. If you're gathered in someone's living room reading the Bible, you're in church. That's why protestant churches are very simple, no frills, no fluff. It's a simple community gathering place. When priests say, "all the expensive art in Catholic churches are so the church can relate to the community" 1. No, we relate with faith, not art. And 2. There are gathering places like that called museums and art galleries. I encourage you to show your appreciation for art there. I would never walk up to someone in a museum and be all, "Have you considered making Jesus Christ you lord and savior?" I would get shut down immediately - rightfully so!

You don't attend church to look at art. And while I really like the gospel some preachers preach, if there's obvious big time money being poured in to that particular church by the preacher's congregants, I have to question what the true intent for his church is. Living a simple chaste life as I've chosen to live is not a requirement of protestants or the church's leaders for that matter, but greed is still a sin, a harm against God, which is the very reason we're protestants to begin with, we oppose a wealthy Catholic church and bowing down to any man before God. No church should have 35M dollars readily on hand. Like seriously, what? No church should have to pay off 35M dollar lawsuits... Anywayyy, you get the point.

If Pope Leo's Chicago mass is being livestreamed June 14th I'll watch it. I'm always interested in what the head of the Catholic church is preaching to his congregants. 

I could go on but I'll stop here. 😊 

Then Nathan said unto David, Do all that is in thine heart; for God is with thee.

--1 Chronicles 17:2

God bless you. 

WHAT WE ARE MADE FOR

Good morning.

*Please forgive the grammatical errors. This blog was written over the course of two weeks.

The past two weeks has been centered around fixing my right foot. 

Of all the years hiking up hills, mountain, rocky terrain, it was a small rock the size of an acorn in the middle of the street as I was crossing it that twisted my foot out from under me. Unbelievable. My ankle went, "See ya!" Luckily I was only ten minutes from the house and the swelling had not started yet. I was able to hobble back to the house. That was on May 17th. I knew my ankle wasn't broken (thank goodness) because I could walk on it enough to get back to my room. I laid up in bed with my foot on a pillow and stayed there for five days. On the fifth day it seemed my foot was okay, a little sore, but okay enough to walk on it and so I went on a small hike on flat land, got some great landscape shots, and came back to the room. A few hours off my foot later, my ankle swelled up again, not as bad as it had originally but bad enough that it laid me up for another two days. I bought a cane off Amazon and let me tell you there is so much to learn regarding how to walking with a cane! It's my right ankle that has the sprain and so according to the good doctors on youtube, I'm supposed to hold the cane with my left hand and use the cane with every step taken with my injured right foot ("together"). Left foot, right foot with cane in left hand "together". Left foot, right foot with cane in left hand "together". Left foot, right foot with cane in left hand "together". It's harder then it sounds. Yesterday I saw a guy stepping with his left foot and using the cane in his left hand together - because that's what feels natural to do but it's not what all the docs on youtube tell you to do. Problem with the cane is, I'm short. Even on the shortest setting the cane is still too tall for me to use. I stayed off my foot for a few more days which was fine since I managed to catch a cold anyway, and then I got on my foot again for a couple of days, and now, a day later, my foot is in unbelievable pain again. Not just my foot though, also the tendon above the heel, and the inside ankle as well. I bought a boot to wear that I can also walk in, or so the instruction says, which arrives Saturday. I twisted my ankle twelve days ago and I think I'm actually in worse shape than I was when it happened. Then again, I'm old, and you know how it is, everything is connected to everything else, it's not just my ankle anymore. 

Where I'm currently staying, it's a 20 minute walk to the local metro station which is what I was doing when I sprained my ankle. I've been ubering around town since and getting delivery for dinner which I'm not a fan of. I looked up spaghetti on Ubereats and Home Depot popped up. I wish I was joking. Still, I have (most of) my health, I'm not (currently) in a war torn country, and for now I am able to still take care of myself. I'm grateful. 

I learned today that I've been taking one of my prescriptions against pharmacy recommendation. It's one of my prescriptions I 've been taking since my stroke in 2021. I downloaded my pharmacy app, checked on my prescriptions and saw in the instructions I'm supposed to take this med in the mornings. I've been taking it before I go to bed ever since it was prescribed to me, because that's what the neurologist who prescribed it told me to do on account of one of the side effects for this particular med is leg pain. The pharmacy however advises taking it in the mornings. Who do you listen to, the neurologist or the pharmacy? 

Hypothetical question - what's wrong with this country?   

People who voted for that inflatable orange tube taco are now "shocked" they're being deported, "shocked" they were used for votes, "shocked" his administration is cutting funding for education, cancer research, school lunches, what little healthcare, foreign and domestic aid against war and famine, and they're "shocked" the inflatable orange tube taco has thrown the constitution in the trash, all while this administration claims to be devout Christians. Spoiler alert, none of them are Christians.  

If there's one thing the American 1% love getting behind it's wealthy people fighting and complaining about high tariffs. *cough*Walmart*cough* I shop there because it's close to me and the prices are still cheaper than traditional grocery stores. I recently bought groceries online at a known grocery store chain, four items, $65 before tip. Four items! Chicken, mixed nuts, 1 20oz can of pineapple, and low fat yellow corn tortillas. $65 before tip. I try not complaining. I live in luxury compared to hundreds of thousands (millions?) of people around the world - but how utterly sad is that because I also live a life of poverty so what does that make them? Living an impoverished and chaste life gives me absolute clarity which is why religious/spiritual people do it, but none so clear as those suffering around the world in ruins because of old man greed and hatred - old men whose lives didn't turn out the way they wanted so they make other people suffer just to feel strong. It's pathetic.

Back in 1995 $65 would have bought my groceries for at least two weeks, not just three days. It's greed. Pure greed. This White House claiming to be Christian, is a lie. A flat out lie. They'll have to square that with God one day - and/or with true faith followers. It doesn't take religion to make a person kind and decent. It takes being kind and decent. I will always maintain, be a Christian, don't be a Christian, still a (somewhat) free country. It doesn't take knowing the ten commandments to be a good person, it takes following them. There's only ten! And while the commandments are associated with Christianity, if this White House bothered to read what those ten commandments are, they would realize they're just common sense things to live a simpler healthier life for the betterment of you and society - instead they live maybe two out of ten commandments - strong maybe. 

This White House is not Christian. They're just pretending to be Christians because they think they're part of "team Pope" like when a football team wins, the entire state thinks they had a hand in winning the game. Sure, the support is great but you're not the ones running the ball making touchdowns. 

I'm an old broody tragic romantic. I read Shakespeare, watch Jane Eyre flicks, my favorite Biblical passage is, "For in much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow" and because of this I was not prepared to see jumbotrons at the Vatican square (sigh). Jumbotrons. The Vatican, a wealth of history, art, and architecture... and... jumbotrons. I'm surprised there weren't teenagers playing XBOX on them.

JD Vance is playing pretend Catholic dress up again, and did he really just shake hands with Voldymyr Zelenskyy for a camera op like he didn't 6th grade bully Zelenskyy in the White House with that useless orange dongleberry not long ago - criticizing Zelenskyy even for not wearing a suit. Vance truly thinks he's going to be head of the Republican/MAGA ticket in 2028. Not for the MAGA party, dear. Not with that wife of yours. The good ol' gals will never accept her in their country club. And then he posed for another photo op shaking hands with Pope Leo XIV. Good grief.

The press can make a big deal news story about Pope Leo XIV hosting a mass in Chicago on the same day as Trump-o's 100M dollar hit parade to himself as the Pope trying to "upstage" Trump-o, but in reality it's more likely the Pope wants to draw Christians and Catholics back into the church. It's not so much an "upstaging" as it is using the situation to benefit his cause like the young priests do on Youtube. I grew up in church from the time I was seven years old until I was about seventeen years old, approx ten years, at least one to two times a week, and as an adult I am not a fan of sitting in church. Anytime Mass lasts longer than 40 minutes I get super twitchy. I'm not a total claustrophobic but I prefer live streaming service rather than going in person now that that's an option. Of all the places I have to force myself to go to so I remember how to be among other people, church is not a good place to steady my social anxiety. At least if I ever lose my cool on a train or a bus, not that I have (but the day's not over yet!), it's still kind of expected as a passenger. It's public transit after all, otherwise known as where homeless people go to use the bathroom. Sit on a bus seat at your own risk.

The medical boot for my foot arrives today, thankfully. After walking about for three days this week, the moment I got off it last night (sigh) my foot ached and swelled... again.

I'm curious, if President TACO pardons P. Diddy Combs, because Combs has a net worth of 400M dollars according to AI, which you know President TACO wants to get his greasy hands on, will he also pardon Ghislaine Maxwell, too? AI says her net worth is only 10-15M dollars comparatively speaking to Combs so maybe that's not enough money for President TACO to pardon her. 

Of course TACO pardoned Julie and Todd Chrisley, they're convicted swindlers, tax evaders, and white. Birds of a feather flock together. Those who live comfortably in Hellfire and Brimstone will raise their houses to the ground and set the world on fire. 

Last week there was an adorable little white dog running through the neighborhood. I tried catching it in hopes of finding a dog tag. The doggie finally ran into a yard and stayed there. I guessed that's where the dog lived. About two days later I walked past it's lifeless body in the middle of the street. The poor dog had been shot. Someone used the dog for target practice. 

Tell me, how do you smile and laugh in this day and age? How?

How do you smile and laugh knowing there is all this war, bloodshed, starvation, fear, corruption, cruelty, abuse, and hatred. How can you laugh?

For in much wisdom is much grief

And he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.

--Ecclesiastes 1:18  

There has to be more to life than this. I believe it. I have to. It's the only way to continue surviving in all this chaos, madness, and sheer utter stupidity. I believe there will be a reckoning. I believe true Christians and Catholics will make certain of it. Even as a child growing up in a broken home created by a woman's mental madness, I believed even then there was more to life than this. I know Christ, and Christ knows me. I encourage Christians to read more Bible and to find shelter with Christ/God.

Your humble messenger,

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

--John 3:16

God bless us all. 

NEW DAY: LET US START AGAIN

Good morning.

*Please forgive the grammatical errors. 

How long until y'all stop referring to him as "The American Pope". Embarrassing. Just pop open some kegs and have a wild weekend block party at Walmart. Get it out of your system. We can film it and sell the documentary as 'American Pope Parking Lot'. 

Geez Louise. Pope Leo XIV is head of the Roman Catholic Church who happens to be American, although not sure how much weight that has anymore since JD Vance is declaring himself a Roman Catholic because, why not, it's just that easy now apparently, you can get 'er done without catechism training, baptism, confirmation, and communion from a Roman Catholic priest or higher, ooh lala, whatever, hey everyone's Roman Catholic now just by saying so on the internet, and if it's on the internet it must be true. Trust me, if JD Vance was going through legit motions of converting to Roman Catholic, he would be in the news every day promoting catechism, confession, communion by a Roman Catholic priest or higher, making daily tiktoks, something. I mean he's Vice President, he's got time on his hands. But nah, we all know it's a load of stinky Vance cow manure. 

I'm reading, thumbing through actually, pages of the Catholic Catechism, heck no not converting, just reading, and Article 7, The Sacrament of Matrimony, states the following: "The covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament." Sooooo, has Usha Vance been baptized and raised by Christ our Lord? Because I thought she was Hindu... OH, that's right I forgot J.D. Vance told reporters they were her kids, not theirs, so maybe it doesn't count as a go against Catholic sacrament. Them be her kids. My bad. I forgot. 

I'm still reading Catholic catechism and in Marriage In The Lord, 1615, it says: "It is by following Christ, renouncing themselves, and taking up their crosses that spouses will be able to "receive" the original meaning and live it with the help of Christ. This grace of Christian marriage is a fruit of Christ's cross, the source of all Christian life."

Soooo who's gonna tell Usha Vance she needs to convert to make their marriage legit in the eyes of the Catholic church? For this reason my dad converted to Catholicism back around 1999 somewhere around there, so he and his second wife, a Catholic, who he originally married in Vegas back in 1989 could finally get remarried and renew their vows in a Catholic church. First however, they both had to annul their first marriages - because they were both married when they met and fell in love - and my dad was raised devout Mormon but chose to not continue practicing as an adult. My dad and his second wife worked together, which I believe was in part why women were not welcome in the work place to begin with, to prevent affairs and divorces. 

Cafeteria Catholics. Americans, as a whole, are the worst Catholics in the world, as in most don't follow scripture, at all. The ten commandments are so hard for Americans. Why is it so hard? If there was another religion based war, American Catholics would die alongside protestants in a hail fire from every other country, everywhere. American Catholics would greet these immigrant Catholics like, "Bro, we're on the same side! Why aren't you speaking English?! And why is your skin so brown?!" 

When the (I think he was a) Bishop started reading the Pope decree introduction thing-y in (I dunno) Latin or Italian with the new Pope's chosen name, you heard a round of "Oooohs" which I thought were "booooos" and I'm clearly not the only one because that Bishop guy stopped reading for a second and angry-momma-snap stared directly at the people making the "Oooooo" sounds. And I knew at that moment, though I don't speak Italian or Latin, the new Pope was def not Italian.

Just please stop saying "American Pope" is all's I'm asking. It's been a few days now. The shock has worn off. Trust me, I was more shook than y'all apparently. Pope Leo XIV is the Pope of the Roman Catholic Church, not the Church of America. Give our dumpster fire president some time, he'll invent the Church of America and name himself the Holy Sack of Cornhole, or whatever he thinks religion is. 

Wow, Catholic catechism includes eunuchs in your wedding laws. You guys really jazz it up. Protestants aren't that fancy. I don't recall a single eunuch mentioned in our catechism. I'm going to add eunuchs in my Sunday school teachings should I decide to teach Sunday school one day. I could shorten down the unnecessary paragraph in the Catholic catechism to: "Eunuchs, he who is able to receive this, let him receive it."

Talk about a scare tactic for the kids. There's hellfire and brimstone, and then there's eunuchs. "By birth, God, or man" eunuchs. Yeah, that's right. Man can make eunuchs. Now go clean your room.

You guys go from eunuchs to virgins, no wonder your catechism is over 900 freaking pages long. One repeated message however is husband and wife both need to be baptized in the Catholic Church. And I wouldn't even be making this a thing except those two White House squaters conveniently go through the active motions be it a Roman Catholic, husband, father, or whatever, only whenever it's politically necessary.

PS. A 400M dollar presidential one-way "gift" is called a bribe. In street terms it's called "hood rat for life".

If I'm this offended, little ol' me, by the actions of this entire White House administration, I certainly hope Pope Leo XIV is as well. A man doesn't devote his life to serving God only for it to be dummied down and undermined by a bunch of MAGA stiffs with a camera acting all indignant, "Why didn't he say something in English? He's American. He should have said something in English. Why didn't he say something in English" Oh please, go plastic surgery something and leave the spiritual lifting for those of us with a conscience. 

By the way, for those of you reading this, you've most likely read more Catholic Catechism in this blog than the entire White House cabinet and it's free online. God bless.

There are people truly trying, truly struggling, they wake up every day making an effort to change their lives, live better, they reach out online for support, for a kind word, and I pray people give it to them. One good deed a day changes the world for the better. A minute of your time. That's all. It doesn't have to be anything more than giving a thumbs up on social media to someone living another day drug free and wanting to celebrate it with you. 

Patience. That's God's biggest test for me. Patience. I thought quitting drinking, drugs, smoking, surviving 1 and 1/2 strokes, were going to be the hardest things I do but no, it's patience, and not swearing, both are super hard for me. I F-bombed in a text yesterday and said it several times as my patience wore out - which was a lot - practically all day long. Today is a new day. I'm usually awake to greet the sun. I am a Rooster in the Chinese calendar after all if you believe in that kind of thing. We Roosters crow in the new day. Perhaps it's our duty to remind people today is a new day to begin again. Deep breaths.

As mentioned in the daily prayer:

This is the dream; and we will tell the interpretation thereof before the king.

Thou, O king, art a king of kings: for the God of Heaven hath given thee a kingdom, power, and strength, and glory. 

-- Daniel 2:36-37 

I'm just a simple messenger. 

God bless.

HEY CHICAGO, DEEP DISH ISN'T PIZZA

Good morning. 

*Please forgive the grammatical errors.

Faith over politics, this is my number one worry with this new Pope, will he keep faith over politics. I already saw one Cardinal say he voted for (the now) Pope Leo XIV because he hoped this Pope would "build a bridge between the church and Trump", which is safe to assume he means that giant orange inflatable tube donkey currently sitting in the White House. For this reason among others, an American Pope is a huge mistake in my very humble opinion. If I were a gambling woman, which I'm not, but if I were, the only reason for these Cardinals to vote for an American Pope is to get the church to align with our dumpster fire president. And before anyone challenges my concerns I'll just remind you of all the "WOOoooo! The new Pope is American!" screams as if Pope Leo just won the Superbowl rather than being elected the Papacy. It don't get more Trump-y American than that unless the Pope also signs a sponsorship contract with McDonalds. As a protestant I'll never bow down to a Pope but I respected Pope Francis for not aligning himself with Trump-o. Being a protestant, this was my first time seeing and being spiritually invested in Conclave, and it was... Well, it was... I mean... are they all like this? All the cheering and flags felt like it was the world cup. 

There are automatic political stances I totally expect from the Vatican and all Popes as these are standard Catholic staples:

Anti-abortion

Anti-gay rights

Anti-divorce

Anti-birth control

Etc.

This is not going to change. It's been what Catholics believe and preach since day 1. However, Pope Francis also followed the doctrine of peace and love. That's not just some hippie saying, that's actually in the Bible, repeatedly. It's the teachings of Christ. Among the many other things that separates protestants from Catholics, following the teachings of the Bible and not solely the resurrection (which is self serving for Catholic clergy) is a biggie. I cannot stress enough the importance of a bible based church.  

AND LOOK

I'm pro gay rights and birth control. I don't like abortion but it's a necessary evil. Who's flipping the bill every time an unwanted child is born? Who's flipping the bill when all those unwanted children turn into unwanted homeless adults? 5K for women to give birth? Are you crazy? One million dollars to give birth is an incentive, though it goes completely against the church to have children unless you have first taken a marital vow before God, no out of wedlock children, which Rump-o would know if anyone in his administration were an actual Christian. When it comes to marriage I'm very conservative. Marriage is a vow before God to love, honor, and cherish each other until death do you part, or why do it all. Stay single if you can't hold a marital vow before God. It's still a (somewhat) free country. No one is forcing you to get married. Stay single if you can't keep a vow before God, tRump! I take vows very serious. I'm a firm believer that marriage is between two people, and two people only. None of this "open marriage" nonsense. I firmly believe if you're going to raise children one parent stays home while the other works, although in this day and age remote work is an option as long as the children aren't being neglected.

I got off track.

Regarding an American Pope, I just don't want to see the radicals (both left and right) get even more hysterically insane which, unfortunately, Popes have the power to fuel by their allegiances, and since this Pope is American I can't help but be concerned which allegiance he pledges to first, God or country. According to the constitution laws aren't supposed to be made based on religion yet here we are. Abortion is banned (according to Google) in 41 states, because of religion, and that orange dongleberry isn't even a Christian. I detest hypocrisy.  

Do we follow each other on social media? My twitter (X) page is 98% hiking/walking photos. I'm online pals with other nature enthusiasts. Hailing from land of "ice and snow from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow" well, not really, but back in the day my home state of Minnesota was nothing but actual legit 7 foot tall Scandinavian Vikings and brutal winters. Also explains why I married at 6 foot tall blonde hair, blue eyed Swede. I grew up with slingshots, archery, and snowshoes, but back in the 70's that was called survival training in -20 degree winters with -20 degree windchill. After my stroke/s in 2021, and I say "stroke/s" because while I was about to have a massive stroke on February 26, 2021, the ER neurologist came to my room explained to me while showing an x-ray of my brain, "This is the stroke you're having now. And this is the stroke you had within the last week. See how it's still lit up in your brain. We're going to try stopping the stroke you're having now." And they did stop the second stroke as it was happening which is why I only lost 30% of both leg use instead of being confined to a wheelchair. Medicine is amazing. God bless those who go into it! And so, as part of my ongoing recovery and mental health, I love sharing photos of my hikes and travels with fellow hikers and travelers. We all exchange travel info and photos and it helps keep us motivated. It's fun. Just recently however, one traveler, a gal in Montana, after a year of sharing photos online, rando blocked me from her page. I later learned it's because she's a tRump supporter and she read this blog where I'm constantly calling him a giant orange dongleberry, so she blocked me.  

LOOK

In the grand scheme of things, be a Christian, don't be a Christian, be a Republican, don't be a Republican, whatever, if we have something else in common besides politics and religion, like hiking and photography, then lets focus on that, but no, she didn't want to. Calling tRump the orange Don of Dongleberia hurt her feelings for some reason. She took it personal. Meh, what can you do. 

         

MOVING ON

I have been avoiding (film) Conclave but broke down and watched it, and that particular thing would never happen now. I don't recall the exact time I first read about it, but it is said the church has historic records of that very thing had actually happened in the Catholic Church, once, one time, though as you can imagine the church vehemently denies it. Not the first time the church has been in denial, eh? Regardless, Hollywood took artistic license when making this film and as annoying as it was that the movie went in this direction, people should always remember it's just a movie. Conservative media getting all up-in-arms over a film. Okay, whatever, Tipper!

BUT

Now that I've calmed down I'm going to give Pope Leo the XIV the benefit of the doubt. Just please do not align yourself with that heartless, Godless, useless orange pathetic excuse for a man. 

For people not understanding the Midwest social media joke about Pope Leo the XIV "Putting the ope in Pope", in the Midwest, because the Pope is from from Chicago, the Midwest "ope!" is an exclamation used for many things. Someone tosses you a pen and you miss catching it, "ope!" When your knees crack as you stand up after sitting for an hour, "ope!" If you miss the highway exit, "Ope!" Followed by "Dang it!" And if you miss the highway exit a second time, "Ope! Dang it! What the heck!" 

AND

That woman (whose name I won't say) the one that raised 750K for calling a little boy the N-word at a Minnesota park, the entitled woman who thinks her racism should earn her a 1M dollars, is reportedly being socially defended by the GiveSendGo CFO, Jacob Wells. Both this woman and Mr. Wells will have to square their actions with God one day and believe me God will come to collect. I will never understand how people throw their money away on others for their bad behavior. Pretty soon Jeff Besoz will have to go to a rando Starbucks and lose his mind on a (pick a minority) to keep up with the Joneses. 

I don't care how much of an entitled Karen you think you are, never assault a child. Never, never, ever. No excuse for it. You're an adult! You should know better. Commandment #8: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. (And then profit!) See, you would know and practice that commandment if you were an actual Christian. Anyyywayy... 

Ten Commandments, people. Not that hard. There's only ten.

Tomorrow I head back to my beloved desert. Even in the city at 4am I'm about to throw on the AC. "Don't say it, Lisa. Don't say it."

OH, I'm saying it!

Hot enough for you? Yeah, but it's a dry heat!

 I pray thee, from the inmost of my heart, to forgive me all my sins wherewith I have ever provoked thee, and to quicken my heart with thy spirit, that I may daily grow and increase in thy knowledge. Amen.

God bless.

POPE LEO XIV

Good morning.

*Please forgive the grammatical errors.

EDIT TO SAY: I'm watching (film) Conclave, on Prime. I avoided watching this film because I thought I would get annoyed. I thought right. What were those Cardinals thinking today. An American. It takes me longer to buy a purse than it took those Cardinals to decide on a Pontiff. I'm only upset about it because of the current president. Bad choice. Just rename the church the Roman American Catholic Church, I guess. 

EDIT TO SAY: People are saying Pope Leo the XIV is a "woke Pope" who is pro migrants as Jesus was a migrant (agreed) but Pope Leo the XIV was born and raised in America and has no real stakes in the game to contradict and oppose Trump-o with any real passion regarding how Trump-o handles foreign policy. I hope I'm wrong. 

Back to the original blog.

What are Catholics going to do if the Cardinals elect a black or Filipino Pope - aside from completely losing their minds, that is. As a Christian, Not Catholic, I'll never support it. Never. The Pope should always be European, technically should always be Roman hence the Roman Catholic church, with a lengthy European lineage. I'm wholly against missions of conversion to begin with. Going to Uganda, or wherever, to convert indigenous tribes of (say) the Bantu into being Catholics is just... No. Do not betray the Christian faith. Pick an Italian Pope. Any Italian at this point.

I saw a clip of Cardinal Tagle tell a story to his congregants about a little boy who didn't want to sit next to him on public transit after his mother instructed him to. The little boy said, "I hate the Japanese" and that's why he didn't want to sit next Cardinal Tagle. But rather than making his lesson about hate, Cardinal Tagle made it about the little boy not knowing the difference between him (a Filipino) and a Japanese person. Swing and miss, Cardinal. Swing and miss. I'm not a Cardinal, or a priest, but if I were that story would have ended with a homily about hate. How hate dissolves you as a human being. "Forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass again us" is part of the daily prayer for a reason. Hate steals your soul. Hate rots you like a corpse while you live. Let it go. Live your life.

Better is a handful of quietness, than both the hands full with travail and vexation of spirit.

-- Ecclesiastes 4:6  

Apparently the media has a saying on the subject of Conclave: "Walk in a Pope, come out a Cardinal." Meaning if the media reports on particular Cardinals as being on the Pope short list, they'll walk out of Conclave a Cardinal. 

Watching Mass before the Conclave, the whole process in the last 24 hours has been fascinating. It reminds me of being that sixteen year old girl I once was, just enamored with the Catholic church, as in the church itself. It was a glorious old building. I was heavily into art back then, an artist myself. The church was very seductive with beautiful stained glass, amazing large paintings, inlaid golden robes, and the best wrought iron and wood carvings money could buy. I could spend the rest of my life devoted to this church, I thought. The Catholic church was my 1985 social media addiction. I blog about it in my first intro blog GREETINGS! AN INTRODUCTION But then one day my eyes re-opened and all that grandeur melted before me. No more fluff. No more ceremony.  No more pretentiousness. Just a love and devotion to Christ/God, the teaching of Christ/God and the scripture. Christianity in its oldest and truest form. If I want to see art I'll support my local museums and art galleries. Get me. Still, I have/will always appreciate and respect the Catholic church, all religions. There's a difference between having an opinion and straight out violently attacking someone because of their faith. "Sticks and stones, love." If they're not violating anyone, live and let live. That said, tell me this Mass before Conclave isn't being "a bit" theatrical. Also, three word put-downs mean nothing. If you're going to be overly-vocal in opposition about something explain your reasoning. Otherwise get out of the ring, you contribute nothing to the conversation. "F you that's why!" is a closer. Not the argument.

I need to stop swearing. Sometimes I really just can't help it. Giving up tobacco and alcohol was waaay easier and I only quit both because they endangered my life. The moment swearing gives me an upper respiratory infection I'm done! Although it did take two serious infections before I quite smoking. I loved smoking that much. I still miss it. 

I have a question. I'm guessing these Conclave masses are being spoken in Latin and Italian but what do the the Cardinals who don't speak either do during this time? Are they just staring straight ahead making their grocery lists? 

MUCH LATER

Black smoke. 

DAY 2

We're all staring at the Vatican chimney, waiting. "Don't make the Pope about politics." The social media priests say. Sorry Fathers, but the church has never separated itself from politics, and politics will never separate itself from church. The constitution protects us from government punishing us for our faiths to practice our faiths freely (or so it says) but every president, regardless of party, attends the National Prayer Breakfast if he knows what's good for him. 

I'm watching the Vatican Chimney on Youtube so naturally I expect white smoke just as an ad pops on.

I just saw in one particular southern California Bible college the gender ratio was something like 58% female 47% male. Apparently women are choosing the bear and/or God over men, and the giant orange dongleberry in the oval office seems to think 5K is enough incentive for women to make babies. That goof really doesn't know how much a child costs does he. Maybe if he had spent more with his own children as they were growing up he would know better. Forget a civil race war, be more concerned with another religious war, WWIII, and those wars are brutal. There are so many different forms of Christianity in America alone the new Pope could really cause an international riot on day 1 if he's not careful. 

A part of me wants to attend Bible school again, which I have not done in yeeears. Being a minister gives me freedom from the church. It allows me to write this blog and to speak more freely. The moment I align myself directly with the Lutheran church I serve the church and its congregants... and not the people, lets not kid ourselves.

Huh. Is that a drone hovering over the Vatican chimney? It is. 

I've entertained the idea many times of starting my own church but that's the last thing this country needs, another church. Instead, I entertain the idea of a nature faith based community in my book. Wait, hear me out first. Don't scoff it off without hearing a little bit about it. Do you enjoy camping and fishing? Are you on the paleo, Keto, or Mediterranean diet? Do you like gardens? Do you think pesticides are harmful to food and thus you? Do you believe bees are an essential part of the Eco structure? Are you pro wildlife? Do you hate litter as much as I do? Well then, you might enjoy this church. I'm curious how long it will take my literary church to grow. My book is part ministry, part philosophy, part sociology, with some poetry, influenced by Shakespeare, E.A. Poe, and Dickens, clearly, those are my favorite authors. I have no formal training in psychology, only what I've read and life experiences, but if you read my last blog of ten years then you know I have theories, oh my dears, lots and lots of theories. Not in a Theodore Kaczynski kind of way, this is a book and not a manifesto, plus he was mathematician and a paranoid schizo... ANYWAY the point I'm trying to make is would a nature faith based Godly church be so bad? Part Mennonite-like, part pantheon'a'litical'istic'ish-y. 

Yes, I was that annoying kid who asked everyone all the time, "What would happen if you did it this way instead?" You know, it's funny, if you ask questions about what's possible people automatically assume you're opposing them.

(sigh)

I ate chicken again. I'm not doing so well with the no bacon and chicken diet. I would love to only eat fish but 1) Its expensive, and 2) It's not convenient. No, that's not true. I just suck at not eating meat.

WHITE SMOKE & BELLS.

That was quick. But who is it.

The drone is back.

WHO IS IT. You'd think this was the World Cup the way people are waving giant flags in the Vatican square. 

"Canada!" Dude holding up a big Canadian flag. Awesome. They keep showing the Canada guy.

The younger priests are all cheerful. The older priests not so much. No, older priests know what's at stake here especially if the new Pontiff is younger than 70, or if he's not Italian. 

WHAT?! AN AMERICAN.

Terrible. Worst choice ever. It's over. He's Trump's Pope. 

Pope Prevost, the giant orange inflatable tube donkey's Pope.

A terrible day. A terrible day for Christians. I wish I didn't quit drinking.

God help us. Evil and corruption are back in the Vatican.

*I can't even write. An American Pope. Who thought this was a good idea??

HARD EARNED YEARS

Good morning.

*Please forgive the grammatical errors.

MSN did a remembrance reel on Les Binks but mistakenly used a photo of John Sykes in one of the clips. Sigh. John Sykes also died, last December. Les Binks died last month. How anyone confused John Sykes for Les Binks, is beyond me. Talkin' 'bout my generation, son! Add to that, a makeup content creator thought Madonna was the go-to 80's makeup icon. His comments, including mine, corrected him by informing him Jon Bon Jovi & Susanna Hoffs (Bangles, Walk Like an Egyptian) are more accurate 80's hair/makeup icons. Madonna, where I grew up anyway, were fashion icons for 8-12 years olds, not older teenagers. Dear younger generations, just go ahead and continue ignoring us GenX'ers. We prefer it that way. Likewise, I'm about to unsubscribe from First We Feast because I have no idea who are in the last twelve videos. My new favorite Youtuber is Ray William Johnson. If you're like me and like a quick story check it out. 

(sigh)

That orange sourpatch dongleberry posted AI photos of himself as the new Pope and then of himself as a Star Wars Jedi Sith, red light saber. You knowww, there are certain things old white men should not do and those are two prime examples right there. I eye-rolled so hard I almost gave thirteen-year-old me a brain aneurysm. 

AND

As I've written before, if the Catholics want to preserve the integrity of Catholicism (yes, this protestant does see the irony of what I just wrote) nonetheless, the Pope should always be European with lengthy European lineage. Non-Christians will never understand why I say this for the same reason kids today don't understand the importance of not tearing down statues like Robert E Lee. By tearing down statues and trying to modernize Christianity you're completely ignoring history and then what happens when history repeats itself (because it always does) or worse when prophecy becomes fruition. Non-Christians weighing in on who should be the next Pope is like women weighing in on how men should get proctology exams - entertaining as that might be. As much as I would love to say only young people don't appreciate the consequences of their actions it's not just pretty young people problems, it's all people problems at every age. On one hand people complain they can't afford a house, but on the other hand they're all Instagram famous going on luxurious vacations and make living out of a van look glamorous. Is it, "My van's espresso machine broke. The struggle is real!" Or is it, "I have to choose between shampoo and body soap this week. The struggle is real."

Between 1999-2003 I had a dream job. I didn't appreciate it then because I was too busy feeling awesome instead of feeling grateful. I worked in a cubical with three other people, all men, one was a left leanings conservative, two were so annoyingly far left-wing Democrat even JFK would have been all, "Get the F out of my house!" five minutes in, and then myself who at the time was a trad-wife in the making. Meaning a 1980's Republican. I was raised in a Midwest Christian conservative environment in the 70's and 80's. Where I grew up even if you voted Democrat, you were still conservative don't fool yourselves. Back then you didn't believe in IR relationships, alcohol and tobacco and firearms were good, drugs bad, you still thought women shouldn't work, you were pro guns and hunting, The word "God" was put on everything, liquor stores were closed on Sundays (still are!) and you thought abortion was worse than cutting off a man's penis. So yeah, Republican. I don't remember what sparked the topic in my cubical, but we got into a rather heated debate over how hippies hurt the anti-Vietnam war movement (Google it) rather than help it. Much like how protests then and now make great news, policies not so much. The problem with hippies, and protests, are 9 times out of 10 you're just a big crowd in the way of people going to work, picking up their kids, going to the doctors, never mind all the traffic jam preventing ambulances from going where they need to go. The point of a protest isn't to hurt the American people from living their daily lives, it's to get the attention of law makers, right? RIGHT? If you're going to protest war, Vietnam or any other war, how much impact are you going to make (to law makers) by getting high, drunk, painting your body and VW bug for photo ops, and blocking traffic? And Hoo-wee! Did I get push-back from the lefties in my cubical! I'm sorry fellas, did I offend? Don't mind me then, I'll just shut up now and go back in the kitchen barefoot and bake a home-made apple pie with cinnamon, and really, would that be so bad? Who doesn't like homemade apple pie with a big ol' dollop of vanilla ice cream? Plus, I'm from the Midwest I like being barefoot.  

In this day and age, the internet is your friend. Use it. Geez-Louise, I liked one comment by an anti-Trumper and now this dude is in every single one of my social media timelines, everywhere. Can't seem to get rid of him. "Get the F out of my house!"

In 2017 I changed political parties. That orange inflatable tube donkey is about as Republican (and Christian) as a box of hand wipes in the San Francisco tenderloin. 

ANYWAY

Cardinal Pierbattista Pizzaballa. That's it. I just wanted to say his name. Everyone else has been saying it lately. I was feeling left out. From what I've been hearing in his interviews he seems aiight. Some of those other Cardinals though... There will be fighting words for sure if one of them becomes Pope. Look fellas, just do what the entire globe wants you to do and pick an Italian. Why are there so few Italians in the ring? I mean, it's Rome. I thought having a Roman priest in any Italian family was like the Mount Everest of bragging rights. Maybe that's only New York. Whatever. Just pick an Italian even if he has a "China problem", big deal. Half the men who were dating in the 80's contracted a "China problem" and while there is no cure you can discreetly buy medication online that suppresses an outbreak... or so I hear. Regardless, maybe not pick someone over 70 years old. We're dealing with grandpa over here in America and he refuses to take his meds. 

Oooh Dump-o.

Re-open Alcatraz, eh? They can't even keep air traffic controllers employed, what makes Dump-o think he can keep prison staff employed at Alcatraz. This dude reverse Midas touches everything his pudgy orange fingers peck at.

Do I sound grumpy-er than usual? I kind of do, I guess. I thought being old people would automatically just leave me the F alone to die or whatever, but no, people get all in my business for no reason whatsoever. I'm just over here doing my thing, staying out of everyone's way, and people gotta get all into my personal stuff and in my business. Trust me, I'm not an interesting person. I'm boring. I do the same five to eight things every week. Week after week, after week. Nothing exciting. So what's the deal? Even if I advance my religious studies and try being a Reverend by the time I'm 60 years old, I'll be even more boring AF - and yet somehow that will make people even more desperate to get in my business. I don't think y'all understand how it works. I get into YOUR business. Save YOU from yourself. If people lived as boring as I do, crime would be wiped off the face of the Earth forever. I literally have nothing to steal. I live a life of poverty. I attach myself to nothing. Actually, if the orange inflatable tube donkey keeps it up you all will be living a life of poverty too - only yours won't be by choice. This time next year eggs will be $40 a carton.

The LA County fair is in town. After I relocate back to AV next week I'm going to spend a few days in Pomona just to attend the fair. Looking forward! I miss Minnesota state and Valley fairs. They were good times. And, I want to take a few days to go on a camping excursion (somewhere). Spend a few days with nature. I might keep booking a room in AV like I've done before just to keep the room as my base, then hop on a train and travel cross country and back. We'll see. I had a cancer scare back in late March. Got a cancer screening and after a month of waiting I finally got the results back. Benign. That was my second cancer scare since 2012. Back then the doctor found a small tumor on my uterus. Also benign. The clock is ticking down for my generation. 56-years-old and the clock is ticking down, know what I mean. I've been writing furiously. Need to finish my book. At least finalize half of it. Make an attempt to find a publisher before I go through the hassle of publishing it myself. I don't do the business end of my creative works all that well. I'm uninspired and unmotivated to talk to people who aren't artists even if they're the ones who put you out there. It's like chewing gum. I'm cool with it for the first ten minutes and then I need to spit out and do something else.

Did you know there is a pastry called Nuns farts. There is. Nuns Farts. And there is a meatball called Farts of Portingale. You're welcome.

I WONDER

Do kids today have any idea what a woman aging gracefully looks like? If you need a perfect reference of a woman aging gloriously natural look no further than Pamela Anderson. This is a woman who has done questionable sinful things in the past. I am a woman who has done questionable sinful things in the past. For the last five years I have devoted my life to becoming a better person as I believe so has she. I read the comments people left after seeing short clips of the historic "it girl" at the Met Gala and unlike her pinup girl peers, Ms. Anderson has decided to age naturally leaving people (strangely) confused. Why? Still? Even after a few years coming out in public saying she's had enough and is going natural, still people are confused? According to Google Pamela Anderson is 57 years old. I'm 56. I can't speak for Ms. Anderson, but competing with 30 years olds, while I still could for maybe five to seven more years, is a battle I don't care to invest in. I have more important things I want to do with my life. Perhaps Ms. Anderson, and other women our age, can relate. You can still be your best at any age, it just looks different after a woman turns 50. At that age a woman will either choose to battle with 30 year olds for beauty street cred or at last finally be comfortable in her own skin. Those of us who choose to be comfortable in our skin looked at women before us who chose to do battle with women half their age and let's just say the outcome of these battle ridden women legit look like they did battle, many battles, and lost every single one of them tragically. The ones who survived the battles don't look so good now - ten layers of heavy dark makeup to cover surgical scars and years of insecurity, wearing barely-there dresses found only in the poorest third world exotic dance clubs, and hair so terribly over processed nothing would probably grow back if they cut it off and tried starting over. The tragic tale of women growing old isn't the growing old part, it's the not accepting it, part. I was a "face" girl. Some gals are "legs" or "tall & skinny" but I was a "face" girl. The funny thing about that is, I have a big ol' mole on my nose now. Noticed it about ten years ago growing in and it just kept growing. I thought about having it surgically removed but nah. It is what it is. I much rather see Pamela Anderson looking and feeling natural, glowing, and free from battle, than the "it girls" before her who chose battle and lost.

Older women have something young gals won't have for another 25-30 painfully hard earned years, knowledge and wisdom. You can't buy it, my loves. Oh no, you have to earn it the hard way. You have to live it. You can be full of young arrogance insisting you know better. That's okay. We see you and we wish you well. God bless.

Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, 
vanity of vanities; all is vanity
-- Ecclesiastes 1:2