FAMILY AND MONEY

Good morning.

 

*Please forgive the grammatical errors. 

I've re-started this blog so many times I just can't keep up with the news, the horrors of this country (America), and things going on in my personal life.

There was yet again another school shooting alongside the fatal shooting of yet another political figure. I'm exhausted. I can't even write about it. I'm sure there's good somewhere in this country but this White House administration as a whole is like a five year old boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar desperately trying to convince us it's not his hand.

If you followed my last blog which I have since deleted, no I didn't get cancelled I deleted PST by choice, then you may remember my brothers mom died two+ years ago and only recently did her estate close. 

I'm in Minnesota now. And because my brothers mother never signed the paperwork relinquishing her parental rights of me when my dad gave her the paperwork back when they divorced, 40 some years later she died and didn't make a Will and as a result of this I received a third of her estate. My younger/older brother A. insisted I take the money. He said it's legally mine and insisted I take the money. My oldest brother J. didn't want me to have a dime. I'm not a daughter by blood and J. doesn't think I should have any money from her estate. 

I should also mention A. is financially secure and does well with managing his money. He always has. He's been happily married to his wife some-30 years. They still live in the same house they bought back in 1998 for under 100K (in Minnesota). And because the town they live in has sprung up over the years into a high end bougie upper class town their 100K house is now worth four times that much.   

J. is a disaster with money and as a result of this has none. He's been unemployed for a long time. His second wife has been the primary financial provider in their marriage for nearly (I want to say) ten years, seven years at least. They wed in 2012 and honeymooned in Los Angeles. I had no idea they had gotten married. I wasn't invited to the wedding. I also had no idea they were coming to Los Angeles. I was living in LA at the time going through a separation from my husband when J. called me up out of the blue on their honeymoon to meet him for brunch AKA to take him and his new wife out to brunch. A $170 brunch I might add. BUT I did it. I was younger, heartbroken, not thinking clearly, and easily manipulated still by my family back then.   

Had my brother's mom signed the paperwork back in 1985-or whenever our dad gave her the paperwork relinquishing her as my "mother" or had she actually made a Will, I wouldn't have gotten anything. My brothers would have split her estate in half BUT she didn't do either of those two things and so by law I received a third of her estate as her legally adopted daughter.

The issue of money has been a thorn in my side since J. couldn't legally remove me from his mother's estate. For two years A. and I have been hearing J. complain about money and then two+ years later the estate closed and everyone got paid. It's not a lot of money but enough to make a fresh start, well, for me anyway. I can make a fresh start. It's not enough for J. to make a fresh start for him, his wife, and his tween son, the third of three sons. His other two sons are grown in their twenties.

After a divorce, stroke, Covid, post-stroke, the estate money albeit not much is enough to set me up somewhere to start anew. A chance I have not had since my stroke.  

I'm in Minnesota now. I arrived in Minnesota September 2nd for a handful of reasons but mostly to see the proper end of the closing of the estate. I half-expected to see J. and a lawyer serving A. and me papers demanding more money for his share of the estate but that didn't happen thank goodness.  

A. met me for coffee on the 5th and handed me the estate check in person. It was really good seeing A. We had a nice 2 and 1/2 hour talk that was a long time coming. A long time coming. Lots was said. Lots that needed to be said. It was a great conversation. I don't know if he'll keep in touch. We'll see I guess. Since J. lives in Arizona his check was mailed to him. He received it (I'm guessing) yesterday because that's when he text me demanding money from my part of the estate.     

J. who is miserable with money, made a list of everything he ever spent on me from the time I was seventeen years old. Literally nickel and dimed me for every little dollar he thinks he's given me since like 1987. "Remember when I bought that TV for you back in 1988 after you said you didn't have one for your bedroom." Oh. You mean the used TV set you bought at a thrift store for $15. The TV you bought for me as a gift back when you were (I thought) just being a cool big brother. Fine. Whatever, bro. I didn't ask you to buy me a TV but whatever. I'll give J. what he wants and then I never want to speak to him ever again. The sum of his demands totaled at 2.5K and yes I gave it to him... but he made sure it was like pulling teeth giving it to him. Let me explain. 

I told J. I would Zell him the money. I said ZELL like five times. I had to because in his text messages to me, J. didn't just want the money, he wanted me to want to give him the money. When he finally informed me the total sum of his demands I Zelled him using his name and phone number as I had done before. ONLY TO THEN BE TOLD, "I don't have Zell." Yes, yes he does. Only, he had since changed the info on his Zell account a few years ago to a business account. Something he should have communicated to me while we were texting about Zell, yea? And what business?? After fifteen text messages going back and forth I resolved the matter by calling my bank's 1-800 number and talking with a wonderful bank rep who helped me get the money out of limbo and into my idiot brother's bank account. I did this after my idiot brother said there were none of his bank's in Arizona. OMG are you serious?! Then I text my idiot brother the screenshots of the email notification confirming the money has now landed in his bank account. That was at 5:49pm yesterday and I have not heard a peep from him since. Good. Keep it that way. He won't get another dime out of me. That money was the payoff to never speak to him again.

Family, eh. 

Friends are your chosen family. Amen!  

As you can imagine it's been an emotional rollercoaster. 

I got to see my oldest dearest childhood friend. We had breakfast on my second day in town and it's like we never grew up. We're still the same childhood besties we were back in 70's and 80's. It's amazing. beautiful really. I love my friends so much. They're my real family. In the end I thank my brother A. for talking me into taking the money because originally I didn't want anything to do with it, but he said by law he had to give me the money even if he didn't want to, but he wanted me to have the money. Once he gave me the money I could do with it whatever I wanted. When I met A. for coffee five days ago he said he was glad I took the money. He said it was the least that woman (his mother) could do for me after all the Hell she put me through when I was a kid. You can read a little bit about that here in my intro blog: GREETINGS! AN INTRODUCTION   

As for the rest of it, being back in MN even though it's changed so much, I think I'm going to stay in town over the winter at least. It would be nice to see winter again. I don't know how my lungs will handle it but we'll see. At least I have plenty of time to set myself up before winter. I better find me a local doctor out here too before the first snow fall. And what have I bought so far with the estate money? A new hair dryer. That's it. Thank goodness I'm old and don't care about labels or superficial things. I'm just seeking winter shelter and checking the job market. At 56 years of age stability is something I have not had since 2003. I'm not kidding. My marriage unhoused me more times than poverty. 

While having breakfast with my oldest childhood friend I mentioned not being opposed to getting married again. Aside from being a kind man, a thoughtful mindful kind human being, more importantly I want a man who is content if not happy with his his life. Being content isn't hard. Even when I was at my poorest poor I was still content. I had peace. My ex-husband was never content. He up-housed us/me so many times I never got to keep anything I bought for myself like a mixing bowl and a drawing table for more than a year. And while I never considered myself a "roots down" kind of gal, at 56 I'm ready to settle down now. I want a simple uncomplicated life filled with happiness for however many years I have left. That is thee biggest difference between men and women over 50, women want simple, easy, happy and uncomplicated, and men still want that dream he had when he was seventeen years old. Even at 70 years of age, men still want to be rockstars with fans and horny groupies regardless of the fact he's been an electrician for all of his adult life. By 70 years of age if you're not content with life, than what do you really have? 

Single men over 60 years of age who are depressed are so because they don't know how to mentally and emotionally catch up to all of a sudden being 60 years of age. They were seventeen year old "rockstars" in their minds up until they were 59 years old and now that they're 60, the big 6 0, they suddenly became aware that their seventeen year old "rockstar" fantasy never came true, and now they're angry. Instead of adjusting into a healthy elder phase of life, they just become an angry old menace. Hard pass. 

Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to hear a 70 year old man talk about his erections. I just want a man who is simple, content, stable, and wants to enjoy his elder years with another simple, stable, content elder person. Mourn that "rockstar" fantasy and move on. Men who still have hook up mentality after 50 years of age are gross. Full stop. No really, just stop.

I think by tomorrow I should have enough mental energy to visit my dad and Rick's graves. If you read my old blog then you know Rick was my childhood friend who died in his late 40's from an inoperable brain tumor. They were both catholic and attended the same neighborhood Catholic church. I'm deciding still how much I want to donate to the church. I guess we'll see after I check out the condition of their resting places.

So yeah, a heavier emotional week than usual to start. On top of that, killings upon killings upon killings in our country. NOW would be a great time for Governor Gavin Newsom to show some national leadership skills. I don't know who his speech writers are but my guy, get them all in front of their computers now. Surely they can hammer out at least a paragraph or two between them for you to use to move hearts and votes in a more unified sensible direction subduing all this madness. These days my brain is utter mashed potatoes. I knit to calm my nerves from all this family drama. Even after it ends I still need a week or so to just chill. Yesterday, my idiot brother took a good six months off my life I do not doubt.

Nonetheless, in all the chaos we must remember:

 

If the anger of the ruler rises against you, do not leave your place, for calmness will lay great offenses to rest.

--Modern, Ecclesiastes 10:4

Amen. God bless us all.

GOOD PASADENA

Good morning.

*Please forgive the grammatical errors. I write these blogs over the course of days on different devices. You're a smart cookie. You can keep up. I believe in you. 

I found out a little more on my old coworker's ICE detention case. Seems he and his family were coming back from vacation abroad and he was arrested at a Georgia international airport coming back into the country. Seems he was red-flagged for a 2010 drug conviction with the intent to sell but instead of jail time, because he was just a kid, the DA at the time gave him time served and a $200 fine which my coworker (I'm guessing) paid. But because of the drug conviction my coworker was red-flagged and detained by ICE a few weeks ago coming back from vacation even though his sister reported he has a valid green card and served zero jail time back in 2010. The DA at his 2010 hearing used his best judgement. Sonny was just a kid in 2010 and so the DA let him go with a $200 fine. And for that, ICE is now trying to deport him to the *Philippines. I mean, c'mon, no one apparently remembers the 80's?! How many drug convictions happened in the 80's! A gram here, an ounce there, a little Pink Floyd under a groovy fluorescent poster and a black light, but if you're an American citizen with "good jeans" that's 100% fine... I guess. What bull. Pure racism. That's what this is. Pure racism and hypocrisy. Nothing more. 

The hypocrisy from this White House administration is out of control. 

And yes, I meant to spell "Jeans" that way. (sigh) We all saw that intentionally racist commercial with that Sweeny chick. I'm 100% Team Bea on this one only because I have actually worn Levis. Lees, Levis, Calvin Kline and Gloria Vanderbilt in high school, never that trashy AE. 

I found an amazing movie theater in a small town not too far from me that has old school discounted matinee prices like back in the day. I'm talking 1980 matinee prices. Here in the desert seeing a movie in the nicely chilled movie theater in the middle of August is a treat. I absolutely love movies in the theater. For many, many years there have not been films I wanted to see in the theater but this year a shocking number of films have come out I wanted to see. One of those films was Americana. (You know where I'm going here, yes) Are you old enough to know what eugenics is? In this hostile political climate created by that stupid orange windbag tube donkey currently squatting in the White House the only thing America has been "great" at is being openly racist. Of course leave it to AE, a clothing store I would never shop in, to bank on this White House's racism by using one of the actors in Americana to sell eugenics with a "good jeans" campaign. It ruined seeing (film) Americana for me. Ruined it. Of course I'm not seeing it now. I'm 56 years old - I know what eugenics is. The AE commercial promoting racism is weird coming from AE's CEO Jay Schottenstein. "Good jeans" is a KKK mixed WTF blend. I can hear some Gomer spouting, "It's just a tongue and cheek advertisement campaign." Sit down, Gomer. Get you some Hispanic models, Asian models, and black models for this advertisement campaign and then get back to me. 

Well done GAP. I shop there too sometimes. Well done CEO Richard Dickson. Well done all.

America is a melting pot, a new country that wants no kings or fascists and that includes the fat orange soulless tube donkey currently flapping in the White House. I'm a studious tough old broad, sirs, raised right by another well educated tough old broad (my grandma). You can't fool me, mister.  If my German/Swedish grandma were alive today she would proper-old-lady-shame Schottenstein into a slow rocking fetal position. Grandmas back in the 70's and 80's could put a 300 pound grown man DOWN with that shame stare. You know which one I'm talking about.  

Here is a PBS documentary on eugenics.

I saw Weapons instead. Interesting film. Wished the ending was a little stronger but worth seeing nonetheless. 

This White House administration wants to bring back eugenics. How long before women of color are sterilized again without their consent? How many women are sterilized now without them knowing it I wonder?  

Eugenics is why models and actresses in 70's and 80's all looked like Christie Brinkley and Lonie Anderson. The fallout didn't happen until the 90's. 

MAGA hypocrisy is out of control. I would not put anything past those people. Look what they're doing to America's immigrants. To us. All of us. America IS immigration. That's our jam. That's the whole point of this country, immigrants wanting a better life. Statue of Liberty, "Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." 

The last time I was back in Minnesota was January/February 2024 and it was the MAGATS who moved to my home state at the age of 30 and 40 from places like Missouri or wherever who then complained MN wasn't the German, Scandinavian state it used to be, AKA dominantly white. Those MAGAT outsiders, those Johnny-come-lately's are the ones ruining my childhood home state. And then they have the audacity to say on social media, "I'm stuck here!" No Bish, you're not stuck there. Just leave. Bye-bye. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, get in your cars and keep driving until you pass state lines FOREVER. Literally no one will stop you from moving out. See ya. That's my attitude not only with MAGATS mucking up my home state, and mucking up California, but also with the people who are in relationships they don't want to be in, or jobs they don't want to have but say idiotic things like, "I'm stuck here." Literally no one is stopping you from leaving. Bye. Problem solved. That's me, a problem solver. Be the solution. I got tired of shoveling snow and -20 degree winters so I moved to the west coast. Problem solved. If I can do it, you can do it, AND you don't have any reason to go back to MN to visit. Hooray! 

Everywhere in the world now hates Trump. They absolutely hate him. Tourism is way down because of Trump. Population is way down because women are sick of men imitating Trump. Inflation is ever growing because of Trump. War is ever ongoing because of Trump's inability to be a world leader. That moron is just an epic failure of a man. He married an absolutely useless woman. Most of his children are from the very chain migration his administration criticizes. Oh the hypocrisy. And single MAGAT men wonder why they're still single and are 100% going to die alone. 

I'm a community minister. Maybe one day I'll minister a small parish somewhere but until then I'm just a messenger. I know God and God knows me well. And just like the Catholic church has their young dancing priests on TikTok, I blog for the wee bit more intellectually minded. 

Do you know what I pray to God mostly for these days - stronger wiser more intelligent men willing to stand up and correct these wayward younger fellas who think Trump is their daddy and role model. So when a man like California Governor Gavin Newsom and his social media anti MAGA wrecking crew stands and delivers against the MAGA hypocrisy, I'm all in. ALL IN. Let the great mock soar.

 

I don't know why in 2025 men have to be told to wash their hands. So many men don't wash their hands and it's disgusting. Remember when men got on social media and proudly openly admitted they don't clean their backsides. First of all, ewe! WTF! Women, even if they're not Democrats, would rather be in a room with Gavin Newsom than Trump if only because Newsom looks great and he probably smells amazing. I imagine Trump smells like he looks, gross fake tan and weirdo hair. In other words, Trump looks as though he smells like a homicide. Add to that, Newsom is at a great age to be a world leader. He's old enough and experienced enough, yet young enough and hip enough to tough out the politics, listen to his advisors, and make sensible decisions regardless how hard. Whereas I have no idea what the heck is going on with this current White House president and VP at any given hour of any given day like someone's dementia ridden grandfather who escaped the old folks home ala grandpa Simpson. I refused to vote for Trump (a second time) and I'm not even a Democrat.                                         

                                

(sigh) Anyway.

Hey! Baby blankets for winter donation are coming along nicely. I'm working on blanket #4. I'm making the blankets bigger now for toddlers too. We do what we can to help others. 

As I've mentioned before, I'm a 56 year old 1980's conservative protestant. I've made reasonable amendments to my old school line of thinking from my 20's and 30's now that I've lived longer. Do I know the difference between gay and queer? Nope, I sure don't. Do I understand why my niece became my nephew, nope I sure don't. You could explain it to me a thousand times I'm not going to understand it - just accept that I accept these changes and we both move on.

I'm an old school conservative. I make no apologies. I still believe in gender roles (to simplify) masculine and feminine, and that it takes two parents to raise a healthy child where one parent dominantly stays home full time while the other earns the main household income full time. I don't care if the parents are a man and a woman, two women, or two men, so long as the roles are still there being performed. These young Trump supporters with working wives and nannies are not any kind republican I know of. Being married is supposed to be a benefit to both parties or why bother getting married at all. Just stay single then. No married woman wants to work a full time job, raise children, mommy her husband, and do ALL the cooking, cleaning, etc. No woman wants to do that. Not in my generation or any generation. If a man wanted me to birth children, cook, clean, laundry, raise kids, ain't NO WAY I'm also working a full time job. Having a helper around the house to help with laundry and grocery shopping is cool but I am 100% against dumping children off to strangers. Look, raise your own children. You had a choice, have kids or don't have kids. If your choice was to have kids, then raise them, and raise them to be smart, kind, and know the difference between right and wrong on a humanitarian level. 

I'm a Gen X'er and let me tell you, there is a percentage of us who didn't make it because we raised ourselves and not everyone grasped the concept of right and wrong. The weak percentage didn't make it. But we also had the luxury of a safe(r) country to raise ourselves in. Kids today don't have that luxury. They're not safe in schools, at home, on the computer, they're not safe to play in the street like my generation did, they're not even safe to keep second floor bedroom windows open at night for fresh air. One parent has to stay home with the kids. One parent has to bring home the money. You cannot do it all, all by yourself, I don't care what those tampon commercials tell you ladies, you're not a "goddess", they're just trying to sell you tampons.

I spent the other day in Pasadena, California. Beautiful city. They have a Humane society that seems to have a pretty decent reputation and I had a bunch of pet stuff to donate. I took the A train to Pasadena. 

The Pasadena Humane society were very nice and friendly. They  took everything I donated, thank goodness. I had an airplane approved soft zip-up pet carrier, cat body harnesses, dog & cat bowls, and unopened cans of dog food. Thankfully, they took it all. I'll continue to donate to them I think. Food, litter, Poo bags, toys, etc. I like their setup. It was my first time hanging out in Pasadena. I've been to Pasadena before, the Rose bowl stadium, the Huntington Library, Descanso Gardens, etc, but this was the first time in the city bumming around to Starbucks, the Humane Society, lunch, etc. I really like it there. Nice people.    

I'm still in a state of limbo. My brother emailed me August 13th, "The lawyer will email you in a few days with estate close-out documents to sign and send back before I mail out the close-out checks." It's now August 21st and (surprise, surprise) no email. I'm not sure what to do with the money anyway. It's not a lot of money but it's enough to get me started in a new direction until my eventual retirement. I was thinking of going back to school but Nevada and California are among the top three states for unemployment. Should I just move all together some place new? Now that I'm in a perpetual menopause it seems, with constant hot flashes, winter states don't look too bad nowadays. My only reluctance, strong reluctance, is my love for California. I moved to the Bay Area in 1989 and California has been home ever since. I'm an Angeleno. Even after brief stints in Las Vegas and the east coast, you can check out (of California) any time you want but you can never leave. Dilemma. What to do? It's a conundrum. 

I don't want to own anything. I'm a single old lady with no kids. Who would I pass anything down to? Should I just get rid of everything and keep going until the wheels fall off?

It's going to be 105 to 106 degrees for the next 5-7 days. Ugh. Melt. At least I'll have the internet to keep me busy while I hide from the sun. 

The fact this got 425K likes is all you need to know about the world of advertising these days, and I'm here for it.

Language, Colonel Sanders! Language! That's a quarter in the swear jar, mister.

My brothers and sisters in Christ, in life, and/or in spirit...

For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.

--Romans 12:3

God bless us all. Amen.

GOD BLESS SONNY

Good morning.

*Please forgive the grammatical errors. As per usual blogs sometimes take a few days to type as I get older and tire more easily. Unfortunately, it's things like what I'm about to tell you next that aid in my exhaustion.

It finally happened. 

Someone I used to work with back in 2017-2019 was recently detained by ICE in Georgia. His American name is Sonny. His sister posted his arrest detainment on FB. From what I understand Sonny and his family were visiting South Carolina and for whatever reason he was singled out and detained by ICE agents in a Georgia airport, which is shocking to me since I thought, from the brief conversations Sonny and I had at work, he was born and raised in CA. He's Filipino and his whole family has names like Kahn Souphanousinphone (the neighbor on KING OF THE HILL) yet it was only Sonny that was detained at the airport. I'm not wise on how ICE collects data on who they're going to detain but it's shocking to me that not only was Sonny detained but that he was the only one in his family detained, not that I want his whole family detained by ICE but you get what I mean. Do I know Sonny well, no, not really, we never hung out socially, but in the two+ years we worked together he was just a shy hard working Filipino kid, to me anyway. In playing devil's advocate, our employer at the time, Mine and Sonny's, hiring manager was known to hire illegal aliens, particularly Mexicans and Filipinos, to work for the company. When the hiring manager moved on to another company she made me an offer to come work for her at the new company which I accepted. I left our old company with her for this new one, and just like at the old company this hiring manager once again hired a bunch of illegal Mexicans to work for her. This hiring manager is white but she speaks fluent Spanish. I left her employment all together in 2022'ish after which she received a visit from ICE at the work place - to no one's surprise but her apparently and they detained some of her employees. In response to the raid this hiring manager taped up an FU sign against ICE explaining why the restaurant had temporarily closed.  We, her legal employees, all told her in 2022 she has to stop hiring undocumented people. We all knew the potential shift forthcoming in the White House. We all predicted it. And now we all see the current racism coming out of the White House. We predicted it! Back then, we, her legal employees, all told this hiring manager to stop hiring illegal Mexicans because of what we predicted would happen, or at the very least help the undocumented become documented while in her employ, but no, she ignored all of us and hired not only undocumented people, homeless people too. That was the end for me, the homeless people. I'm not going to work for an employer who would rather risk her entire staff in order to break the law rather than do the right thing and protect her hard working (legal) employees. What happened to Sonny at the Georgia airport was predictable. It was predictable back in 2022. Be that as it may, I don't understand how ICE agents nabbed Sonny. Only him? I guess he flew with his passport. Thinking out loud, if Sonny had a REAL ID that would mean he's legal, right? I mean, that's why we all got real ID's to prove our citizenship, right? And again, I don't know Sonny outside of working together for two+ years but he just never struck me as a troublemaker. If the only offense Sonny committed was just being illegal, not having committing any crimes or anything violent, then I feel for him and his family. I just don't understand how ICE are nabbing people. And while I would love to help Sonny any way I can, I simply don't have enough information about his detainment adding to the fact we haven't spoken to one another since 2019 - we're now only FB friends, barely at that.

(sigh) This White House administration is exhausting. 

I know people who insist, "Oh no, it could never happen to someone I know. It's all a big show. Trump will nab a few hundred people for the cameras and stop. ICE detainment isn't something that will ever happen to anyone I know." 

Wrong. 

It happened to someone I know, someone I worked with, only not to the person/people I thought it would happen to. 

shoving your head in the sand doesn't make ICE detainment any less real.   

Release the Epstein files unredacted! 

Back to my original blog opening:

Summer finally arrived in the desert and with it human bugs. Because of the observed epic downfall of men in recent years, stealing from women has become an all too common "job" among our male counterparts particularly among males 18-49. I rent a room in a house and for the past three months I used to be able to get up and go pee in the middle of the night as we old people do without having to lock my bedroom door, but for the last few weeks I've had to lock my bedroom door just to pee ever since the last two males checked in to the rooms across the hall from me. Since they checked in, whenever I returned from the bathroom which is right next door to my bedroom, someone clearly tried logging onto my cell phone and laptop. One time they even left my bedroom door wide open. Now I have to annoyingly lock my bedroom door and remember to put the door key in my pocket before going to the bathroom at 1am. One of the guys even took his bedroom door key with him when he checked out for the weekend only to return the following Monday. I imagine he copied the door key. So much for security for the next person renting the room. And don't even get me started on their horrible lack of bathroom hygiene. Wash your hands, fellas!  

So many men don't even try any more. They rather steal personal identities, steal cash, credit cards, whatever they can steal rather than get a job. My brother who's five years older than me found work no problem, but me, a 56 year old woman, I have to go back to school and learn a new trade just to have a sliver of a chance finding work. Right or wrong, work places favor men. They always have and they always will. There's no excuse for a healthy man between 18-70 to be unemployed in America. My 61 year old brother got a job at a company that turned me down for employment and he hasn't had a 9-5 job since he was 17 years old. 

There can be no traditional conservative values when men won't even try getting an education and a meaningful job to be able to support a wife and kids. The conservative party really needs to step up and hammer some sense into the male species. 

2025 men have chosen to no longer be a value in society and they wonder why they're all so depressed and lonely. They want mommies to cook and clean for them, not partners. I wish male community leaders would step up and SHAME the lack of effort put forth by men 18-70 in both society and domestic roles. Where are you, fellas? What are you men bringing to the table? 

Anyway. 

I stopped at the post office to get a few Betty White stamps but the post office said they don't sell them anymore. What?? Then again English was not the first language of the lady working the post office counter. I had to show her a picture of a Betty White stamp on my cell phone. I'm sure I can pick up Betty stamps some place else. I just happened to walk past a post office. How often do I do that? Maybe once a year? Big maybe. Who uses snail mail anymore other than the DMV? Still, my two unwanted cents, if you're going to be an American, you better know who Betty White is. Just saying. She's an icon. A legend.  

In past blogs I've talked about stoicism: STOIC SENSE AND SENSIBILITY

I was raised in a Minnesota German community. My grandmother was a huge part of my life. She was the only female role model I had in my family. She was a stoic/Lutheran. My grandmother played the organ in her church and taught Sunday school that's how active in her church she was. I adored my grandmother so. I simply adored her. I spent as much time with her as I could which meant spending a lot of time at her/our Lutheran church. Through my grandmother I became a Lutheran even though my biological mother had me baptized Catholic before I went to live with my dad and his then wife. Dad's then wife's mother was my grandmother. We weren't blood related but I loved my grandmother and she loved me. I learned so much from her just by her fine example. My grandmother's daughter, my dad's then wife, was an unstable hysterical screaming nightmare. Back in the 70's and 80's small town people suffering from mental illness were unfortunately swept under the rug like inconvenient dust rather than receive help, and unfortunate family members were doomed to suffer under the same roof with them. 

This Lutheran minister talks about the philosophy of stoicism. I wish he would have tightened it up little better but I appreciate the endeavor. Stoicism can't be dead-lift explained in 40 minutes. I've lived a lifetime as a stoic and I couldn't summarize it in 40 minutes.     

Stoicism isn't practiced anymore in society as I wish it was. We live in a world now where every uncontrolled emotion and thought are recorded and posted online for "likes". 

Stoicism is heavily misunderstood as being cold and uncaring when actually it's the exact opposite of cold and uncaring. At the core of a stoic personality is the concrete belief that we humans should be the solution, not the problem. Minnesotans, myself included, back in the 70's and 80's when I was a kid were all stoics - meaning everyone practiced being the solution, not the problem. Don't cry over spilled milk. Don't whine. Que sera sera, whatever will be will be. Live in the moment. What can you accomplish here and now. You do what you can to help others with what you have. That's the stoic way. Use reason and sensibility rather than hysteria and raw emotion, sense and sensibility, which by the way is also my favorite movie. Make it make sense. People think Minnesotans are "Minnesota nice" which is just another way of saying be the solution. Feed children breakfast and lunch in schools. If prisoners in jail get three meals a day, children in school should get at least two meals a day. Make sense? Be the solution. This White House administration thinks it's ridiculous to house the homeless, shoe the shoeless, feed the hungry, and aid the sick, BUT THEN they get mad when there's homeless on their streets and diseases circulate through their community - never mind the fact that this White House administration wants America to believe they're all Christians when they are so clearly NOT.

Question: Someone claiming to be a Christian when they are not, as a knee-jerk fake it 'till you make it generic response to the spotlight question, "What is your favorite passage in the Bible" what do you think they're auto memorized response should be? 

Answer: John 3:16  

But they never say even that. Instead they hum and haw like a deer caught in the headlights and reply, "Oh there's just so many." No, boys and girls, there isn't. Christians, at least protestants anyway, have their own favorite passages that have deep meaning for them, but the generic fake it 'til you make response is always:  

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

-- John 3:16 

Know the difference between a catholic and a protestant just by looking at them? Catholics make a show about crossing themselves after they pray, protestants don't. Also, look at their crosses. Catholics wear gold crucifixes, protestants (Lutherans) wear silver crosses. I've seen other protestants wear gold crosses but then are they really protestants? Martin Luther, the first protestant, protested a grand show of wealth in both faith and symbolism. You cannot buy your way into Heaven with gold crucifixes... but I digress. money and religion is a debate that has no end. I have a silver cross. I don't wear it. I don't wear any jewelry. I'm a cheap date. I wear makeup. I'm vain that way. That's my vice, makeup and Chapstick. Not in a Tammy Faye Bakker kind of way. Not anymore. Maybe back in the 80's and 90's. Be that as it may, protestant churches are humble whereas Catholic churches are showy and garish. 

Welp...

Baby blanket #3 is almost done (actually now it is done). Just throwing in some blue. I cannot tell you how much I enjoy making these baby blankets. Things currently going in my world have a hurry up and wait vibe going on right now but I'm making myself as useful as I can. I would absolutely love about five hours a day sitting with an adorable squishy little baby but I'm happy making the blankets. We do what we can with what we've got. My hope is that Lutheran social services in my home state of Minnesota will accept these donations for any moms and moms-to-be this winter. I'm currently working on baby blanket #4. I'm using heavy yarn. These blankets are warm trust me. They'll keep your adorable little squishy babies warm all winter.

It's funny that knitting is the thing I'm addicted to. Anyone who knits knows how frustrating it can be. My blankets aren't perfect. I call them my "impossible blankets". I just enjoy making them. I garter stitched them all because it's quicker. I can get more made. I can zone out on the train when I travel and just knit on autopilot with my headsets on. A few weeks ago I looked up from knitting on the train and happened to see a black woman recording me. Maybe I'll see it on TikTok one day. 

So, preachers, talk to the men. Talk to the men and make them see that every time they look at a woman and immediately want to know what she "brings to the table" he's the reason he's lonely. He's the drama women want nothing to do with in 2025. Women deserve better. Christ deserves better. God bless us all.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

-- John 3:16 

Amen.

NAZI SALUTE ON U.S. SOIL IS TREASON

Good morning.

*Please forgive the grammatical errors. This blog took a few days to write as they usually do. I do jump around. If you followed my last blog then you're used to it by now I'm sure. 

Dear America, how is any American (especially photographed) doing the Nazi salute not arrested for treason? This isn't some first amendment freedom of speech thing. This arm gesture literally meant war against America during WWII. How is it not treason when Americans are doing it on U.S. soil? Arrest this woman and that Kasey Lynae woman for treason. Arrest them all for treason.

(sigh) Is the doctor in? Fantastic. Which is worse, doc, stupid and hateful or smart and hateful? Take your time. I'll wait.

I woke up this morning around 3:30am to the smell of something horrible. Something burning. I legit thought the house was on fire, or maybe Satan had come to visit, I mean, we all saw THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE right, 3am is the hour of Satan, but no, it seems someone in the house burned something. I'm guessing pizza and you know awful that smell lingers.

I woke up this morning on a mission to check on the kitties. There's a "cat sanctuary" just outside of a gas station not far from me. I happened to see a momma cat and her kittens the other day and when I went to investigate I saw they had lots of food and water. The brush gives them shade and shelter from the 103⁰ heat. I stopped by again this morning just to make sure they were okay and they had a lot of food and water stations set up. The momma cat I saw took her kittens and moved them it seems, as I expected her to do once she saw all the foot traffic, but there were other cats. Here are a few that allowed me to photograph them.

God bless this man who takes care of these kitties. An attendant who was sweeping the parking lot (note: sweeping, not using one of those stupid leaf blower things) said an old man comes by and takes care of the kitties. He gives them pans of fresh food and water jugs of water every morning. God bless this man. God bless all who love and care for those in need. The world needs all the kindness it can get. God bless him.

I've been investigating small towns to relocate to. I grew up in a small town and in my declining years I want to go back to simple small town living without shoveling snow and (minus) -15⁰ winters with (minus) - 15⁰ wind chill. Since 1989 I bleed west coast blood thinner than marinara sauce from a can. My temperature comfort zone is around 10⁰ to 80⁰ fahrenheit. Above and below that I get twitchy. "But it's a dry heat." Shut up. It's still hot. I grew up in humidity. I like sweating. It's good for you. Know what isn't good for you, drying up like a ten year old corpse in the middle of July.

I wouldn't mind a small town parish.  

Two years later and I'm still waiting on my brothers mom's estate to wrap up so I can afford to enroll back to school. I received an email at the end of April saying the estate was finally wrapping up alas it's now August. No idea what's going on now with the estate and I have to learn a new trade at 56 years of age so I can go back to work - I've chosen language studies and teaching. Seems age appropriate. I don't have to stand for 10 hours a day and I don't have to dead lift 50 pounds all day long. Being a 56 year old woman is not a good look in the work force I've been repeatedly told even though I'm aging decently, if I may say so myself, be that as it may, I have to learn a new age appropriate trade. Until the estate stuff finally closes, which my brother, the executer of the estate, has assured me there's money to go back to school, I've been keeping busy in part with knitting. I have had strong grandma vibes all this year and I long to babysit an adorable squishy little baby on the regular but since I have no children there's no grandchildren to babysit (sigh). Still, to get it out of my system I'm knitting baby blankets to donate this year instead of my usual big winter blankets.  

I'm in the practice of getting up early, 3am-4am, so I can catch the early train to (wherever) and arrive before 9am. June-August is miserable in the desert where I am and Uber has lost it's mind with charges. I try taking the bus to the train station whenever I can. 

$5.35 trip fare

$8.67 Booking fee

79 cents driver's benefits. 

Wow.

Why is the booking fee more than the trip fare?

                        

I just learned of a small town in California I've been spending time in. So far I really like it there. Until the estate stuff closes I have nothing but time. I had the best eggs Florentine in this one particular small town and the best acai smoothie ever. I won't say where the town is because they value their privacy as small towns do. It's like Southern Nevada in the same way that they don't want any outsiders coming in and stinking up the joint. I grew up in a small town like that. Of course, that was the 70's and 80's. Minnesota has changed a little since then. 

Mmm.

    

AND ANOTHER THING... See this movie if you haven't already. It's so good. Jaoquin Phoenix is amazing in it. Perfect energy for a film like this. This is the second film I've seen in the theater this year which is a record as of late.  I prefer seeing films in the theater but writers make big budget action packed movies or jump-scare movies these days instead of telling a story. I guess instant gratification has taken hold everywhere. 

Great film. 

This being the other film I really liked. Yes, it's slow going in but you have to pay attention to the story, plus it's just visually beautiful.

Nothing is "adorable" at 25 years of age, Samantha.

If you say stupid things at 25 years of age and older, I'm calling you out for saying stupid things. God wills it. People are shook that someone from Minnesota would be so upfront and "mean" but the fact of the matter is old school Minnesotans born in the 60's and 70's, AKA generation X, believe in being the solution not the problem. If a child is hungry you feed the child, if someone is cold you find them shelter, if you can afford $50 a week for groceries then you can afford a can of soup and a can opener for the nearest food bank. Be the solution. It's easy. God bless those who are the solution.

Look who came to visit me the other morning. How wonderful.

 

 

These little winged creatures are a blessing from God. Trust in only God not in man as the Bible instructs. God gives you blessings, not man. God provides, not man. Work smarter not harder. All you have to do is believe. Christ God our Heavenly Father, puts those in your path to make life easier for you. He takes care of His flock. There are no such thing as coincidences. It's all purely God's will. Praise Him and only Him. Amen.

And he that blasphemeth the name of the Lord, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well as the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the the Lord, shall be put to death.

--Leviticus 24:16 

STOIC SENSE AND SENSIBILITY

Good evening.

*Please forgive the grammatical errors.

Unpopular opinion: How come no one bats an eye about little 5 and 6 year old girls given baby dolls and strollers to play with. I find it disturbing that grooming girls to make babies start as early as 5 and 6 years old. Give girls athletic/creative tools - art, music, dance, sports, etc. Stop giving 5 and 6 year old girls toy babies to take care of. Gross.

I cut my hair. This is a bad windswept picture of it. When you let your natural hair color grow out, at 56, looking like a mad scientist one way or another is inevitable.

I've been writing my book - as ever. I'm not liking the process this time around but you know what they say, trust the process. Usually I write in thick blocks of script as in big fat chapters at a time. Sometimes I can write for days on end. This time around however I've got notes all over the freaking place - on my laptop, on my phone, and on paper. Trust the process, I guess.

I want to talk to you about values. No, not religious or puritan values, I'm talking about what values you opt to prioritize your life with, and in talking about values seeing how misguided values might be the reason for all the "Karens" & "Chads" of the world. Still with me? Good. EXAMPLE: A neighbor parks in your designated parking spot. You respond by telling the neighbor to stop doing this. 1) The neighbor says fine and stops parking in your spot. Or 2) The neighbor blows you off and keeps parking in your spot anyway. If 1, can you leave it alone now and mark this problem solved or do you still need to be mad about it because he didn't apologize for parking in your spot. And if 2, do you do something that will result in a positive affect OR do you keep the hostility alive with negative behavior back at the neighbor. Ask yourself, what is the value of your life choices in these scenarios. I think people need to take a moment to evaluate the value of their lives. What is your life worth? 

I actually told someone recently to CALM DOWN. Because, you know, that always works. Ha.   

Being perpetually mad and hurt are never valuable life choices. Never. You choose to be mad and hurt. You choose what emotions are valuable to you. If the common denominator to one failed relationship after another failed relationship is you - it's 💯 your choice to value your failures OR find a healthier more productive way to live.

American Midwesterners raised in the 70's and 80's like I was, AKA the Gen X generation, were raised to be "chill" in other words stoic. The seven principles of stoicism for those of you too lazy to Google it, are:

1. Patience 

2. Reason

3. Justice

4. Courage

5. Resourcefulness 

6. Creativity

7. Humility

Unacceptable behavior in stoicism are:

1. Anger/yelling

2. Poor choices/repeated 

3. Complaining (this is especially annoying to me)

4. Ignorance

5. Laziness

(Etc.)

Complainers & whiners are THE WORST.

EXAMPLE: "Excuse me (store employee) do you by chance happen to know where the essential oils are?" If the store employee responds with, "No, sorry." Then the answer was no. You asked a question. They answered. Move on. Getting pissed off and angry (for two years!) about an employee not knowing where the essential oil is, is unproductive. The goal is finding essential oil. That's why I walked into the store. Getting mad at someone doesn't get the essential oil any quicker, dig. That's stoicism - using reason and rational instead of raw emotions. How important is the oil. Do you need it right now. Can you go someplace else. Can you order it through Amazon. Finding solutions instead of creating more problems, is stoicism. 

The reason why there are so many "Karens" and "Chads" in the world is because these people choose to be angry, lazy, and ignorant. Laziness being the number one reason for anger. The misogynists of the world blame women for their own failures in society. Their mentality is, "My failures are your fault. I wouldn't fail if you made me better" And to that I say, SUCK IT. For stoics it's just poor logic to blame someone else for your failures. Misogynists proudly displaying their ignorance is something I will never understand. When all the women men complain about are content without them, those men are the problem, not the women. The women are fine. It's the men who are angry. Misogyny = laziness and failure.

When I was a kid, my brothers' mom was the mentally ill person of the neighborhood. All she knew how to do was yell, scream, cry, and blame everyone else but herself for her misery. Only, why was she so miserable? She had a roof over her head she didn't have to pay for, she had clothes on her back she didn't have to pay for, she had the run of a house she didn't have to pay for anything, she didn't have to work, my brothers and I raised ourselves, she literally had every day to do whatever the heck she wanted to do - and of all the things she could have done, she chose to wallow in misery and anger every single day of her life until the day she died. Crazy. I don't get it. 

Here is a stoic lesson to all young people, in 2025 sex is the last item on your to-do list. My generation (Gen X) spent millions of dollars to perfect self gratification. You're welcome! Boomers who chose not to advance into the modern world, F them. F them to the hill and back. Too bad, buddy. Snooze you lose! Learning electronics is not hard. They even have FREE adult enrichment classes to teach you how to use a computer FOR FREE. If you still choose not to learn, then F you to the hill and back. Your problem.

Remember the principles of Stoicism, number 5, be resourceful. Get what you need when you need it. Failure to do so is wanting to fail. Why would you ever want to fail? If your only goal in life is sex, you're going to be a miserable monster to be around. Loneliness of your own self making.

When someone says they're "chill" what they're really saying is - they're stoic. They value reason and sensibility over emotional hysteria. 

I grew up in a German community. Once upon a time my home state (Minnesota) was dominantly German. Germans value intellect,  philosophy, and creativity, or at least these Germans did. I wish I could be silly and laugh all day about everything and absolutely nothing, be blind to the world and all it's BS and cruelty but, and I make no apologies for it, I have always been too studious to be a silly girl or woman.

Like the Good book says,

For in much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.

-- Ecclesiastes 1:18

I'm going back to school. Taking language courses. Brushing up on my German, and learning sign language ASL. I know the alphabet and some words and sentences in ASL. When I was a kid a babysat a little boy named Ryan whose parents are deaf but Ryan was hearing. Every time he signed to his parents he would speak out loud at the same time. I don't know if this was a reflex or what, but what little experience I do have with ASL it seems most people who are hearing, talk out loud while they sign. I pick up on some things pretty quickly and learned the ASL alphabet and some sentences within days and it just stuck with me all through the years. I also want to learn conversational Japanese because I do plan on going there regardless for work or pleasure. While most immersive English is taught online, I'm hoping to go overseas to teach it. 

All I know is, as an older working adult, my options are slim. All the work boards say people over 50 should work for themselves. Well, dang. Teaching seems reasonable. I'll give it a go! 

God bless us all, and good night.